I enjoyed it alot! The one thing I didn't like was the ending, which was kind of a let down. Oh well, the rest of the story definetly makes up.

Great Job!

O.O And then what? You can't do that! Tell me, you awful person, now I have to know what happens!

Uh, okay, I guess I should give a critique.

The anticipation at the end was thrilling and invigorating. I didn't know what was going to happen, and I wanted to know so badly. When I saw the word "BING!" I pretty much freaked, because for a second I thought it said "BANG!" and someone had shot him.

The voices were great. Description. Just...everything, it was so cool.

That had better not be the end, though, you evil conniving devil! Please tell me that's not the end...