Reviews for Arrival and Departure
morticiansdaughter13 chapter 7 . 8/10/2009
this is rilly good! u should literally write a sequel because it just begs 4 another one, you know? so keep writing! lol but u should like write a sequel about how they go to college and they meet differant people but still keep their bond for each other, and one day, they take a vaca. and they go to the same place and see eachother, but one of them moveed on and has a gf/bf so yah! sry... i know i'm demanding! lol
M'lynn chapter 3 . 7/16/2009
Again, tone voices. More description in facial features, and you shouldn't put quotes around thoughts, maybe an apostrophe or just put it in italics. You go into descriptions of her whole life too early, and make things more of a mystery. For example, the guy she met, maybe he should have hidden things and been strange to make her more intrigued with him and try and figure him out. If someone that close to me died I wouldn't be so open.. I don't know though. :)
M'lynn chapter 2 . 7/16/2009
when they speak to each other try and give the tones in their voices, and more details on the look on the others faces.
M'lynn chapter 1 . 7/16/2009
This is a very good start. Things to do with you're other stories, make the intro a mystery so people would want to read more, and get creative with titles to your stories. :)
jayyy chapter 4 . 7/2/2009
It's a nice story, kinda like a slice-of-life thing.