Reviews for Ride
Isca chapter 1 . 2/20/2009
"I want it to be me that provides." The tone here is angsty and sad. It suggests that the speaker feels rather hopeless and worthless.
mikey magee chapter 1 . 2/20/2009
Word Choice: I thought your word choice was nice. It was very consistent and you kept the speaker's voice simple. It made it easy to picture how the speaker was feeling. Thought some of the words could be removed, like "stupid wish." From the tone of the poem we already know how the speaker feels, you can get rid of "stupid" it's a little repetitive.

Imagery: The imagery was somewhat lacking in this piece. The word choice was nice, but there wasn't an image that stood out to me, it all ran together. I did enjoy the last lines, but I didn't see how it fit in with the rest of the poem.

Form: This part was something I had a lot of problems with. Every line started with a lower case letter, it made it seem like you didn't edit it properly. Every line seemed to run together, I think it might help it you broke them into stanzas.

Other: I did enjoy the opening and ending opening had a nice hook while the ending left a beautiful image in my head.

Subject: I like the subject, but the way you executed it seemed a little bit sub par. I think it would be easier to understand the speaker's emotions a bit more if we had some more background. Maybe a line or two about who this person is. A friend? A lover? I can understand that you wanted to keep this part secret, but a little bit of background on who this person is wouldn't hurt.