|Reviews for Apocolyptic|
| Alisa Palmer chapter 1 . 3/25/2009
Hm, too bad there isn't more of this, otherwise I would read on. But there are some things I'd like to point out. One is your writing is very cut-and-dry. And, I like your style. The only thing I would suggest to make it better is to combine some of your simple sentences, considering there are a lot of them. But the way it's written, it sort of limits the creativity a bit and brings a more serious tone to the story. I absolutely love it.
Another thing is, it seemed that you switched from first person to third? Or is that me? Was the main character observing Ricci, or was that an outside narrorator. It sounded like someone from the outside, so it was sort of read like third person. Not something I would suggest - switching from first to third. It often times confuses the reader (obviously). Though, you can get away with mixing 2nd and 1st together, as long it's not too much.
But other than those few things, this was very well done. Even in just this sort piece of the work, I was pulled in and you sort of got me to believe that it was happening. Very nicely written, and again - well done.