|Reviews for The Enchanter|
| Yale Louder chapter 1 . 2/19/2010
i like the premise of this story and the fact that it is very well written. im not too keen on the remembering "what was said style" with the quotes each divided off on their own. this would make a better story i think if you actually wrote out the story and expanded on the characters a bit. this story, even if it is just to add a little depth to the thirry character, would be a lot better if you fleshed out mother and father characters a bit. i like the story as far as the telling but i woluld like to see "how" she went back to her evil ways and maybe a fun battle scene would be nice between the mother and father to show how hard it is to kill someone you love. all the key points are there and the story has fantastic potential but it seems a bit robotic to me like a story told by a guy who heard the story from another guy. i like the characters and i want to feel connected to them, i want ot feel bad for melanie and worse for clarent. other than that the story is very catching and makes me want to read more about thirry. nice job.
if you have some spare time on ur hands would you mind reviewing my story "sons of gailland"? i havent had alot of feedback on it and i can clearly tell that you have a good eye for fiction. i would really appreciate it. the only reviews i have are for chapter one. i think people are daunted by the length. anyway nice job on this one keep up the good work