Reviews for Stumble
Musetta's Waltz chapter 1 . 3/5/2009
"as night leaves cold kisses upon the naked sin."

How can anyone not fall in love with that line? Thank you so much. I'll remember it. It reads like it belongs in a song. I see it so clearly. A darkened room with moonlight falling pale through the windows, thin curtains disturbed by the quietest wind, and the breath of a dying blossom in the air. And sad, lonely youth.

I hope I'm not offending you with my random interpretation of your work.
ZombieMcQueen chapter 1 . 3/1/2009
I love this poem. t's a bit simplistic, but I think that only strengthens it. the last line is striking, especially.
Wynter004 chapter 1 . 2/28/2009
I'm not a poetry pro but here's a few things that stuck out to me.

"as night leaves cold kisses upon the naked sin."

Perhaps that should have been at the end somewhere since it's a longer line?

"I stumble,

and it all ends"

Perhaps that should have been one line?

"I stumble and it ends"

This mad, sweet delusion"

Just suggestions, maybe they're horrible, but I wanted to get my opinion out there. 7/10
lymli chapter 1 . 2/27/2009
the starting is cool, it's a great poem.