|Reviews for The Story You Shouldn't Know|
| Unique1952 chapter 10 . 4/23/2009
This is a considerably cruel place to stop a chapter (
...but I liked this one nonetheless - even if it was really long!
First off, I only spoted one typo:
“You’re lucky the ball was so soft. I could have bee blinded!”
-I think it was supposed to be "been"
Now, "Anastasia (Anna)", thats the name of the main character from my favorite book, "Cupid's Melody" so when I first starteed reading the story, I automatically thought about her. In the story (which deals with past lives), it is shown that Anastasia means reborn or rebirth. Because of this, I'm seriously wondering if you will be playing with that meaning as a part of the story.
I like the contrast of character personalities in the past two chapters. I can see their personalitied progressing constantly and I think that you are doing a good job at illustrating this progression.
Nice work with this, I really like this story and I look forward to reading more!
| My-Heart-Of-Music chapter 10 . 4/23/2009
ARGH! This story is so addicting Bingo. WHY ARE YOU WRITING SUCH AN AWESOME STORY? xD
Oh My God, there is so much I want to say, but everytime I start to say it, I think of something better to say. ARGH!-_-'
I will leave you with this: This story is so good! I don't think I ever ever wanted to drink-up-all-the-words-so-fast-yet-not-want-each-chapter-to-end-so-quickly before in my life. Seriously, I am not joking. I am going to go to bed in a minute and not actually fall asleep because my mind will be going spaz and thinking about what's going to happen next, and then I won't be able to get to sleep until realy late, and then tomorrow, my teachers are all going to be like "Natalie! Why arent you listening? did you stay up until 3 in the morning or something?" and i'll be like "You have no idea". Oh. My. God. I am SO a dead girl walking. I forgot to do my homework! ARGH!
Anyway, that's my problem.
Keep up the totally oober psychedelic (ohh, oober psychedelic! that's my new word) writing hun!
| wolfen princess chapter 10 . 4/20/2009
I do like the chappie!
I am starting to get some ideas about the whole wrist thing, though I'm still wondering what it's actually about.
I really like the first conversation between Anna and the wolf, I thought it had a nice kinda humor to it. What I'm not sure about is her reaction to the demon horse. It seems kinda odd that she's like "Ooh evil horse that tried to attack me, let me pet it" even if she has a connection with animals.
Also her whole character seems to waver a little,in my opinion, between Shy Goody Two Shoes and Confident Evil Fighter (Sorry for the terms but I'm trying to be clear and blunt.) It still a little off to me.
Josh on the other had, I am falling more in love with him by the second. I think you really describe his frustration and sometimes comeplete ruthlessness of his acts. When he 'protected' Anna, that was like a 'whoa' factor but then he contradicted the action when he explained hundreds of deaths that would follow. Very nice.
I'm really excited to find out about Josh's curse, so I can't wait until next chapter. Sorry my reviews are always so long!
| z.k chapter 10 . 4/20/2009
me lovey this chappie. me wanty more! how can you leave us at that cliffie? updaty! soon!
| MagicLizzyOfTheFields chapter 10 . 4/20/2009
Great story. I can't wait to read the next chapter!
| bfoundwanting chapter 10 . 4/20/2009
Yay! Another chapter. :) I liked this chapter, not much really happened as far as development between Anna and Josh, which is the part of the story I really love, of course... but I am VERY excited for the next chapter because aparently that is when we finally learn what this curse is all about! I have been SO curious.
I have an idle question, not really pretaining to the story, but kind of. You know how Anna is getting confused and disheartened, in your world would a full angel have unbreakable faith? And is the reason Anna is susceptable to dark thoughts because she is part human?
| Unique1952 chapter 8 . 4/20/2009
I should actually be doing school work right now so I can't leave as many thoughts as I'd like about this chapter, but I really like it and I'm looking forward to more. I'm almost positive that the story is barely getting started since there are so many aspects that haven't been fully covered - like the curse - and I can't wait for more!
| Unique1952 chapter 7 . 4/20/2009
I think that you'fre doing a really good job with this story, sticking to biblical facts while still illustrating a fictional story.
I do perfer scenes with Josh and Anna together, but you've done an excellent job with scenes where they are apart as well.
Nice work with this chapter, again, I look forward to reading more!
| MyLifeIsMe chapter 3 . 4/19/2009
Hooked already :D
| ohxrosie chapter 10 . 4/19/2009
I really like this story. I love that you've written a story that includes very religious concepts, but haven't approached them in that manner. It makes the story so much more interesting when the author isn't preaching.
The dilemma raised in my mind is that when (if?) they fall in love then (generally) they wont want to see the one they love in pain. This scenario is so beautifully tragic in that respect, as everything Josh lives to do is completely destroying everything Anna stands for.
I'm kind of curious as to whether you'll approach that aspect of their love/hate relationship. I can't wait to read more.
| femaleodd chapter 5 . 4/17/2009
HOLY CRAP! I knew it! I knew it! YAY!
| femaleodd chapter 4 . 4/17/2009
he is totally evil...totally...
| bfoundwanting chapter 9 . 4/17/2009
i would like to leave a long review for you, but i am quite tired. I would wait till later to write it, but then i might forget!
This chapter was quite short seeming, not much happened. I mean... yes, Josh tried to kill her, but it didn't have the same drama or emotiont hat other chapters usually have. I have a feeling that even though this is a "big event" seeing as he tried to kill her... its still a filler chapter.
I was even more assured of this when you said that soon you can start the plot for "real".
I am excited to see what you have in store. I still really adore this story and think you are doing a good job with it! Onwards to the next chapter!
| wolfen princess chapter 9 . 4/17/2009
Nice chapter, I was wondering if Anna was going to challenge Josh or not. It kinda seemed like she was going to more and more each chapter but she couldn't quite get the nerve up.
I didn't really care for the speech she made to the wolf, it was really formal and hero-ish, if you know what I mean. I'm not sure you if you meant it to be that way or if that's just how it turned out.
Another thing I saw is:
"...he managed to make it seem less cruel than the other’s laughs." Is that supposed to be more cruel, it doesn't really make too much sense the way it's written, especially if he hates Anna.
The description of 'angry Josh' was nice especially that he went through such a sudden mood swing, to me that is the definition of evil. Unpredictable.
Anna went through an major character change as well though hers I think was a little more confusing.. I know the change was deliberate but maybe if you eased into a little more slowly than you did with Josh, it might be better. If you compare the shy, polite, nice girl from just a few chapters ago to this devil-challenger that's here now, it's really strange.
I think a little more description would be nicer though that's purely opinion as I tend to use a lot of description when I write and that's familliar to me.
Umm, some of the dialouge I think could be better, such as:
" 'You’re not sweet little Anna, nice even to the enemy she hates. You hate me and you’re letting it show.'" It's kinda repeating Anna's whole mindset throughout the chapter. I get he has to state that aloud but maybe wording it differently?
But, loved the chapter and thaks for the update!
| all4hydration chapter 9 . 4/17/2009