|Reviews for The Story You Shouldn't Know|
| ohxrosie chapter 10 . 4/19/2009
I really like this story. I love that you've written a story that includes very religious concepts, but haven't approached them in that manner. It makes the story so much more interesting when the author isn't preaching.
The dilemma raised in my mind is that when (if?) they fall in love then (generally) they wont want to see the one they love in pain. This scenario is so beautifully tragic in that respect, as everything Josh lives to do is completely destroying everything Anna stands for.
I'm kind of curious as to whether you'll approach that aspect of their love/hate relationship. I can't wait to read more.
| femaleodd chapter 5 . 4/17/2009
HOLY CRAP! I knew it! I knew it! YAY!
| femaleodd chapter 4 . 4/17/2009
he is totally evil...totally...
| bfoundwanting chapter 9 . 4/17/2009
i would like to leave a long review for you, but i am quite tired. I would wait till later to write it, but then i might forget!
This chapter was quite short seeming, not much happened. I mean... yes, Josh tried to kill her, but it didn't have the same drama or emotiont hat other chapters usually have. I have a feeling that even though this is a "big event" seeing as he tried to kill her... its still a filler chapter.
I was even more assured of this when you said that soon you can start the plot for "real".
I am excited to see what you have in store. I still really adore this story and think you are doing a good job with it! Onwards to the next chapter!
| wolfen princess chapter 9 . 4/17/2009
Nice chapter, I was wondering if Anna was going to challenge Josh or not. It kinda seemed like she was going to more and more each chapter but she couldn't quite get the nerve up.
I didn't really care for the speech she made to the wolf, it was really formal and hero-ish, if you know what I mean. I'm not sure you if you meant it to be that way or if that's just how it turned out.
Another thing I saw is:
"...he managed to make it seem less cruel than the other’s laughs." Is that supposed to be more cruel, it doesn't really make too much sense the way it's written, especially if he hates Anna.
The description of 'angry Josh' was nice especially that he went through such a sudden mood swing, to me that is the definition of evil. Unpredictable.
Anna went through an major character change as well though hers I think was a little more confusing.. I know the change was deliberate but maybe if you eased into a little more slowly than you did with Josh, it might be better. If you compare the shy, polite, nice girl from just a few chapters ago to this devil-challenger that's here now, it's really strange.
I think a little more description would be nicer though that's purely opinion as I tend to use a lot of description when I write and that's familliar to me.
Umm, some of the dialouge I think could be better, such as:
" 'You’re not sweet little Anna, nice even to the enemy she hates. You hate me and you’re letting it show.'" It's kinda repeating Anna's whole mindset throughout the chapter. I get he has to state that aloud but maybe wording it differently?
But, loved the chapter and thaks for the update!
| all4hydration chapter 9 . 4/17/2009
| femaleodd chapter 3 . 4/16/2009
hey i like this story :D i can't say much right now. can't wait to read the other chapters later!
| Disabled Account sdf chapter 1 . 4/16/2009
Nice beginning. Let's see how the rest turns out...
| Lord of the Weird chapter 8 . 4/15/2009
Bingo, that chapter was brilliant...its all starting...all we need now is for you to update!
| Lord of the Weird chapter 7 . 4/15/2009
bingo...the devil himself...this is so thrilling...
your writing style is brilliant by the way...brilliant
| Lord of the Weird chapter 6 . 4/15/2009
bingo, this was the best chapter yet.
We have not really had a proper insight into the everyday life...and this occasion was perfect.
You can really feel emotions running around like crazy, i cannot wait for the next chapter, that is why i am going to read your next brilliantly written chapter.
| Lord of the Weird chapter 5 . 4/15/2009
I can feel the romance starting bingo...just feel it
from what i have read so far you have succseeded in your attempt to write a romance
| wolfen princess chapter 8 . 4/14/2009
Woot, double update! I really do love this story, despite my complaining. I'm kinda confused about the wrist thing, but I can only hope that will be described in the future. I really can't wait for the next chapter!
In the seventh chapter, I thought the Cain/Kane thing was pretty cool but I wasn't a big fan of the Father/Son dialouge. It seemed pointless for the father to make a big fuss so Josh wouldn't kill his brother and then not do anything when Josh actually does. I get that it laid the ground work for later chapters, but I'm wondering if it could have gone smoother...
The eigth chapter however, I really did love. I had an "oh sh*t" moment when it turned out to be Josh and not Wolf who was laying on her, I really thought Anna was going to die.
I'm still curious as to what Josh's curse/blessing might be. I have a few ideas but you have neither confirmed or denied them so far in the story. Also, are you going to mention the other world that are ruled by Satan's other sons? YOu mentioned their existance but you haven't gone much farther than that.
Okay, I guess that's the end of my review. I can't wait til Chapter 9!
| z.k chapter 8 . 4/14/2009
yay! double update!
Fantastic! Loved the Kane bits, and thank you so much for killing him off. he irked me after just a couple of lines.
Poor Anna! imagine having to clean up radiation *shudder*
and what's with the wrist thing? me senses a mystery...
| Ponder000 chapter 1 . 4/13/2009
prologue should be more captivating i think