Reviews for Doktor Bizarro's Bookshelf of Horrors
Lolitroy chapter 3 . 12/7/2013
Twilight fans are like Justin Bierber fans. Instead of promoting, they make the merchandose look worse than it already is.

And Alucard! Can't agree more u.u
Lolitroy chapter 2 . 12/7/2013
QAQ
tiggerandpooh chapter 42 . 8/20/2013
I hope you update soon; this is very enjoyable to read, even though I'm a bit...disturbed...now. Now I know what to stay away from when I'm looking for a new book!

This is hilarious, I love your eloquent sense of humor. :) Keep up the good work!
fellow cyborg chapter 37 . 1/1/2013
Ah, thank you very much for a good read! And would you please consider adding the-Harry-Potter-series-the-intergalactic-piece-of-(well reviews are supposed to be rated K, so I'll drop the comparison) to the Bookshelf! Since I didn't spend the last decade in cryostasis (had I known those books were in the making I most surely would have!) I can't escape them!
In case you need more suggestions: 'Rhapsody' series by Elisabeth Haydon (honestly, don't read!) and the infamous series by Terry Goodkind beginning with "Wizard's First Rule' (I stopped reading somewhere in the first book and never bothered to find out if he chose to name the series). Thanks again!
AurorA-Kojima chapter 36 . 2/7/2012
That sounds extremely suckish. XD I enjoy reading these. They're freaking hilarious.
William c s chapter 13 . 2/4/2012
this book is amazing. your review of it is not, time to move on and get a life.
AurorA-Kojima chapter 34 . 10/5/2011
You. Are. So. Right.

Especially with the first two, seeing as they're the only two I've read (attempted to read, in Eragon's case. That is one of two books that I've started and tried to read, but eventually just threw aside. The other being Johnny Tremain) and/or heard of.

I look forward to the next update. x3
Spiral Architect chapter 27 . 6/29/2011
This is hilarious. It's like AVGN for books (look that up and you'll see what I mean). Just one thing:

"Thor makes the obligatory mentor sacrifice and does from his injuries,"

Did you mean dies instead of does? It's one of the very few typos I see in your stories, which is quite heartening (I've got more than you, I often type the wrong word).
Garuda01 chapter 14 . 5/27/2011
Oh god, thank you so frikking much in chapter 14. It provides me enough distractions and certainly ammo to confuse my Twilight obssessed friends. And you are right, Twilight readers does not understand a single theme in American Gods, much less Starship Troopers and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

There Ain't No Such Thing As Free Lunch!

P.S: For your next horrid reviews of these crimes against humanity, I recommend you check out a Video Game tie in novel called Dead Space Martyr, bonus points if you can spot the Scientology references. Hint: Church of Unitology.
Insomniac chapter 1 . 4/8/2011
Sweet. My new summer reading list.

And here I am, thinking that you must be crazy to put yourself through all of this terrible, objective torture. All to save the future generations, eh?
JamezBfod chapter 25 . 1/10/2011
Wow! Sounds like the author of the Latawnya book (and I had to check your essay three times just to remember how to spell that godawful name. Christ Sylvia, pick a name that doesn't sound like a fucking cross between a fantasy novel and a woman you might see on Maury announcing the thirteenth DNA test for her baby's daddy) needs to get a job at McDonald's instead. Assuming Mickey D's would hire such a maroon, of course.

If the horse really wanted to get high, it should have found some, forgive me, Robitussin cough stirrup.

Excellent essays, by the way. Laughed my ass off.
Th' Tolimnes Davin chapter 29 . 12/9/2010
Wow. So you know what's funny? I actually have this book. A friend gave it to me a coule years ago, but I never read it cause it didn't seem interesting enough, now I'm glad I didn't. You're absolutely right, by the sound of it. A plot with holes in it like swiss cheese. Being an alien abduction/UFO enthusiast, I see exactly where he got all of his ideas for the story, but the premise he apparently presented makes no sense at all, as you said. Love the review you posted on it, you tear it apart like a lion that just caught its prey. I sincerely hope you enjoy my story a lot more than you did this one, I'd hate to see it ripped a new one like you did this book. However you review my story, though, I will appreciate whatever criticism, and hopefully compliments, you leave on it.
ConundrumPuzzle chapter 3 . 11/1/2010
I like how you added a lot of sophisticated humor in all your chapters that I've read so far, it's certainly a difference to the other original fiction categories in the humor genre where the author tries too hard.

Your vocabulary is also sophisticated and thus made this entry very interesting to read.

While, I may not exactly agree on all your points about Eragon, (the series being one of my favorites) I respect your opinion and congratulate you on your entry of Twilight, you were absolutely spot in!
BookObsesserNumberOne chapter 21 . 9/5/2010
Oh my gosh I can't believe how stupid this author is. Muggle is a freaking English slang word! Larry Potter is a coincidence, not a thievery.
Michael Panush chapter 29 . 8/19/2010
Wow, this seems like a New Age version of Bulwer-Lytton's Vril-Ya story. I did like how you had an excerpt in there and I wish you had a lot more. What I didn't like was that you basically explained a basic point and then used the quote to back it up. That's good for writing an essay, but not for a funny article. I kind of wish you used them like the Nostalgia Critic uses clips almost as stand-alone jokes, or plays them and then makes fun of them. That would have a better comedic effect. So good job, and I hope more hilarious excerpts appear in future installments.
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