Reviews for Doktor Bizarro's Bookshelf of Horrors
Lord Monbodo chapter 23 . 4/4/2010
May whoever wrote Lord Shang’s book (I doubt he actually wrote it) be condemned to an eternal hell of the combination of country and rap; c-rap.

Keep shelling out hateful books.
perverted.intellectual chapter 23 . 4/2/2010
I've got one: 'Behind the Bell' by Dustin Diamond. It already has some shitty reviews on Amazon but none of them are long enough to really tear it the new one it probably deserves.
Lord Vivian Darling chapter 13 . 3/26/2010
De Sade's reads books for MORALITY,anyway?
Lord Monbodo chapter 3 . 3/16/2010
You're to hard on the book. So what if it lacks originality? Lesser books still have an important place in society. This book's only crime is stealing its plots from to obvious a source. (Horatio Hornblower and Lord of Light are much better choices) I recomend that you read Pergion Dawn by Awilia the Hun on this site. It's an excellent opposite point of view.
Michael Panush chapter 22 . 3/8/2010
Not sure how I feel about you branching out into RPGs, and reviewing ones that you like, but I guess this is a nice difference from the usual Bookshelf of Horrors. The role-playing game sounds really fun. Any game where you can play as a gorilla or an octopus has me sold.
hey chapter 21 . 1/24/2010
Haha this is awesome! I now have a morbid desire to go find the books here that I haven't read...just, you know, to see xD

Ais ;)
thefilmchick chapter 21 . 1/23/2010
Oh boy. And here I always thought Harry Potter was a paltry ripoff of Ursula K. LeGuin's 'Earthsea.' What do you call a ripoff of a ripoff, besides just 'lame'?

In the interest of providing constructive recommendations as I laugh at the review: Books for kids that are about starting over and rebuilding civilization, and are good: 'The Green Book' (Jill Paton Walsh, not Muammar al-Qaddafi); 'The Eye of the Heron' (LeGuin again.) There's also a Bradbury short about the last family to survive nuclear war ('The Train'? Something like that. I think it's in 'The Illustrated Man') that would be kid-friendly. And kids can handle heavy stuff, if responsibly handled-look at the popularity/academic use of Lois Lowry's 'The Giver,' which is a pretty damn horrific dystopia.

Could the book spawn a post-apoc remake of a great old play? I submit to you: 'A Rah Zyn in the Sun.' (I'm so sorry, Lorraine Hansberry.)

The 13-year-old in me snickers endlessly at 'Nardles,' too.

I saw the book's website before, on Portal of Evil. I think once in a decade is probably enough.

It's tough to 'critique' something like this, but I was entertained, anyway! (Review Terry Goodkind. I dare you.)
Michael Panush chapter 21 . 1/23/2010
A very nice chapter and the book sounds really bad. Some of your jokes and references were kind of wierd and went on for a while (what was that long digression about Jim Jones for), but overall this was a fun review.
perverted.intellectual chapter 21 . 1/23/2010
What the hell are you talking about? 'Nevils'? Nevermind that it's probably 'new evils' mushed together or 'devils - d n new crappy fantasy word,' there's a guy in Harry Potter named *Neville* Longbottom! J. K. Rowling totally ripped off this poor lady's work and should be punished!
Michael Panush chapter 20 . 1/5/2010
I actually read this one, on a vacation to Alaska a while ago. I really didn't think it was that bad. Salvatore's a decent writer, and I didn't have the problems with the fight scenes or the wierd names that you did. I guess the book was a little formulaic, but it was still entertaining, and the monk guy was pretty cool and fun to read about. I never bothered to check out any of the sequels, though I think I read one of his Dungeons and Dragons books, which had good writing, but the cliched 'always evil' monsters got on my nerves a little. Overall, I don't really think he deserves a place on the bookshelf of horrors. I'll admit the 'Corona' name was silly though.

Well, those are just my thoughts. I wonder what you'll be reviewing next.
perverted.intellectual chapter 19 . 12/28/2009
Loved it, you pick up the standard stinkers as well as introducing us to some ones I’ve never heard of. I love how you use seemingly random facts and relate them back to the novel. You’re usually humorous but will you get over your own scatophilia? Every novel is excrement pouring off the page. I get it but seriously, you’re not a one trick pony, you’re apparently a super competent cyborg. Is one of your circuits stuck on a loop? Anyway, fantastic otherwise. You really seem to know your stuff and love, or love to hate it. Thanks for giving me a list of never to read books!
Michael Panush chapter 19 . 12/27/2009
As a Jew, I'm pretty against Hitler on general pricincipal, so I thought this might be re-hashing the rather uncontroversial idea that 'the Nazis were bad,' which is pretty widely accepted. But I liked the way you looked at Christmas's history, and some of the roots of Hitler's philosophy, as well as how modern 'cultural warriors' copy his dogma and message without even knowing it. The connection between Hitler and religon is another interesting thing that doesn't get much light shed on it. I had heard of the Schicklegruber thing before. Someone said it was good (or bad) thing he changed his name, because you can't imagine someone saying 'Heil Schickelgruber!' all the time. I think you could have gone a little bit into the way the Nazi Party oppurtunistically stabbed their allies in the back at the drop of a hat, and their complete lack of honor or morals. Still, a very nice article. Looking forward to the next tome of torture!
pie chapter 19 . 12/22/2009
My "favourite" polemic of all time, the Turner Diaries, does not appear on your list, good sir. This omission must be rectified.
Amai Dolciumi chapter 19 . 12/22/2009
"Since your species is dump enough "

Um, you mean "dumb?"
Lyra Kaji chapter 3 . 12/1/2009
The other day during math I was trying to convince my friend to watch Star Wars and/or read Lord of the Rings, and she remarked that she didn't need to because she'd read the Inheritance Trilogy.
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