Reviews for Romeo
Guest chapter 1 . 2/1
Hi, I just wanted to say that I loved this story. It wasn't just a love story focused on the main characters only, you focused on Jules's friends and family and I loved reading about all of them. I laughed and I even cried, it was great. And I loved how you took Jules to see her dad in the epilogue, I appreciated the closure and was glad to see Jules facing him.
mpongalong chapter 34 . 1/7
Hey, I'm leaving a review after having read the whole story so there SPOILER ALERT. overall I thought this was a pretty good read, but took issues with some of the elements. Firstly, Juliet is only six years older than Andy, which puts her at 19 years old, thus indicating she just graduated high school, give or take a year. It seems like an inconsistency given that you emphasized how long and often her mother has been trying to get her to go back to school via her numerous boyfriends/dates. Secondly, Bryan is apparently only 21 years old since you mentioned that he's been dating Paula for three years and they started when they were 18. That means he's barely made it out of college and he's already an apparent seasoned coach who has an apartment, a best friend with a pregnant wife, and, for the most part, has his life together? Doesn't seem realistic. It just feels like the time line is a bit off. Another element I felt needs work on is the reveal of Jules' deep, dark secret-why she's been so guarded this whole time-why she's been so lost and hurt. To be honest it was anticlimactic. I understand divorces are hard and everyone processes their pain differently, but there wasn't much development on why it was so earth-shatteringly painful, why she couldn't forgive her father, why she shunned her best friend but not really her family members and resorted to superficial cyber relationships. Kind of doesn't add up or wasn't very realistic. The revelation was that oh, her father left her for some ambiguous reason and she chose to end her friendship because she couldn't handle the pain. There should be more development in that aspect to get us to understand why she abandoned all things real and organic. Did her father cheat? Did she lose trust in someone who's supposed to be there for her all her life? Was she bitter he never visited? There was slight mention in the epilogue where she felt he could have reached out, but it was really rushed and underdeveloped.
Maybe it's just me, but a part of me wishes she had that moment passing the ball around with Andy before he rushed off to play with Alex instead. It could have been a really beautiful moment for her to reconnect with her brother and for Bryan to see why he's so drawn to her. Part of their attraction to each other is that Jules understands his passion and Paula doesn't. So I'm surprised you didn't reintroduce soccer into jules's life. And the one thing you did mention she was passionate about-swimming- was kind of left unresolved. Last critique of mine is that Bryan is kind of an asshole. He basically leads her on, pretty much asks her for relationship advice while having some sort of idea of how she feels towards him. He pretty much cheats on Paula several times. Cuz lord knows if my boyfriend so much as lays a hand on any other woman that's not me and almost kisses her twice, I would feel so betrayed. They have three years together; granted, the passion is lost, but the love/familiarity is still there. I would gather that Paula deserves some respect for that time. And goodness he just gets out of a three year relationship and immediately jumps into a new one? It wasn't like Paula and Bryan were estranged for a significant amount of time, he kisses her passionately time after time and his own father thinks they're getting married. In the real world, Jules would be such a rebound. Honestly, I would not be able to trust Bryan. He and Paula once had passion, she was once his confidant. It gives me little faith to think that Jules and Bryan's love would last.

As for what I loved about the story, I loved that you gave Jules such depth. I completely connect with her that cyber relationships are so much easier and that being vulnerable with real people on real time is overwhelming. There were so many elements shared between Bryan and her that felt so real. The pang of unrequited love is something most people experience and I truly felt the angst of loving from afar. The part where she finally breaks silence on her true sentiments and tells Bryan she'll never give him permission to leave her was b-e-a-utiful. I freaking love the part where he admits his feelings for her, too. It's odd that she only has two friends, but I did enjoy that she finally got closure from that part of her life and rekindled her friendship. I really enjoyed Richard who fit into their family like the final puzzle piece and the relationship between Andy and Jules. Anyway, super long review and I'm sure I stopped making sense halfway through haha. Thanks for the great read :)
Quasicrystal chapter 34 . 10/4/2015
Hello! First of, I want to say I really enjoyed your story. This story is about Jules coming out of her shell and while her little romance with Bryan is important, it's not the main focus. I think you put that down nicely. There's enough chemistry between them to keep things interesting, but in the end she doesn't need Bryan to be happy. I like that. Wetter she ends up with him or not, or whatever happens after, Jules changed for the better.

Which she needs to keep reminding me of, constantly. I admit, I thought Jules was a little bland at first. Definitely not someone deserving of this nice, athletic guy, who's probably a lot of women's dream. But you changed that. Gradually, she grew into someone who was worthy of him. However, at some point, it's as if she became a little obsessed with this new and better self. I would have preferred it if her actions showed me this, rather than her telling it to my face all the time. "Old Jules would have done this, but new and better Jules is going to do such and so."

This is partly why the ending felt a little rushed. A lot of stuff is happening in the last few chapters, and while I recognize all of it is necessary for the story to come to a conclusion, realistically, this would never happen in such a short time span. Or if it was, I would be surprised, at least, by the coincidence of it all, not constantly comparing my new and old self. The impression that I got was that you really wanted to write that final chapter, but couldn't because all those other things were in the way and needed to be taken care of first.

Hence, the last chapter felt like a disappointment. There was hardly any tension building up to it. It was very predictable and I was actually a little bored during what should have been the big pay-off. I never doubted Bryan would stay. If he hadn't he would have been a dick. Actually, he was still a bit of a dick. The same kind of dick Jules' dad was after divorcing her mom and I'm slightly disappointed she didn't make that connection herself. It would have been great story material. She could have seen her dad's story from his point of view, through Bryan's eyes. It would have given her a way for her to cope with the divorce and maybe even forgive her dad, who was the culprit of all her sorrow for the last couple of years. Definitely a missed opportunity.

All in all, though, it was still a good read. There were some really touchy moments in there. My favorite part was the first soccer match. There was some real tension and the part where Jules' advice decided the match, felt really good. At the end there's some real chemistry going on and that's also when I knew they were meant to be together.

Another part that I really liked was the birthday party. The slicing of the cake, it was very subtle and very romantic. Sometimes those are the hardest parts when it comes to writing a romance. It's easy to be tempted to go overboard and try for the most original and exquisite ways to be romantic, but you managed to capture something that felt real and magnetic during an ordinary backyard party. Nicely done!

I hope this review is helpful, but if anything's unclear, feel free to PM me.
Epic Asian chapter 9 . 8/29/2015
Not liking the main character... She's seems very shallow and self centered... Expecting some major character development throughout the rest of the chapters
Lullaby Street chapter 32 . 2/26/2014
Hi! You probably don't remember me but I never got to finish reading your Romeo story in 2010, when I found your story...so it was really great to come back and readnthenwhole story. All in all, your writing is so in depth and enriched. The details are so precise, not just on how she's feeling or what what's thinking but even when it comes to her mannerisms. The plot was killing me with suspense the whole time! I kept wondering what was going to happen and how it would all get resolved, which is exactly how a story should make you feel, as if I am the character and these are my problems. I specially loved how realistic you made her; she wasn't this perfect Mary Sue character but instead she was wounded and calloused because of it but seeing her change/grow gradually was very insightful.
Great story! Thanks so much for all your time and effort to write it and finish it.

Andy
Hopelessly Dark chapter 32 . 1/17/2014
I am crying tears right now it was so amazing very great Epilogue
Miss E chapter 31 . 1/17/2014
Aw soo very cute I'm glad they got together at last!
Guest chapter 30 . 1/17/2014
Aw this was such a heart warming moment
xxSongBirdxx chapter 28 . 1/17/2014
oh dear what a prick first he makes it clear he finds her attractive and drops a bomb like that!
xxSongBirdxx chapter 27 . 1/17/2014
Gosh she is so stuck in the friendzone
xxSongBirdxx chapter 26 . 1/17/2014
that was a sweet moment
xxSongBirdxx chapter 24 . 1/17/2014
hey she should be happy! now her and Bryan can be together
xxSongBirdxx chapter 23 . 1/16/2014
They almost kissed!
xxSongBirdxx chapter 22 . 1/16/2014
Aw he so has feelings for her!
xxSongBirdxx chapter 21 . 1/16/2014
Wow for someone who has a girlfriend he sure is paying Jules Alot of attention...
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