|Reviews for Romeo|
| Quasicrystal chapter 34 . 10/4
Hello! First of, I want to say I really enjoyed your story. This story is about Jules coming out of her shell and while her little romance with Bryan is important, it's not the main focus. I think you put that down nicely. There's enough chemistry between them to keep things interesting, but in the end she doesn't need Bryan to be happy. I like that. Wetter she ends up with him or not, or whatever happens after, Jules changed for the better.
Which she needs to keep reminding me of, constantly. I admit, I thought Jules was a little bland at first. Definitely not someone deserving of this nice, athletic guy, who's probably a lot of women's dream. But you changed that. Gradually, she grew into someone who was worthy of him. However, at some point, it's as if she became a little obsessed with this new and better self. I would have preferred it if her actions showed me this, rather than her telling it to my face all the time. "Old Jules would have done this, but new and better Jules is going to do such and so."
This is partly why the ending felt a little rushed. A lot of stuff is happening in the last few chapters, and while I recognize all of it is necessary for the story to come to a conclusion, realistically, this would never happen in such a short time span. Or if it was, I would be surprised, at least, by the coincidence of it all, not constantly comparing my new and old self. The impression that I got was that you really wanted to write that final chapter, but couldn't because all those other things were in the way and needed to be taken care of first.
Hence, the last chapter felt like a disappointment. There was hardly any tension building up to it. It was very predictable and I was actually a little bored during what should have been the big pay-off. I never doubted Bryan would stay. If he hadn't he would have been a dick. Actually, he was still a bit of a dick. The same kind of dick Jules' dad was after divorcing her mom and I'm slightly disappointed she didn't make that connection herself. It would have been great story material. She could have seen her dad's story from his point of view, through Bryan's eyes. It would have given her a way for her to cope with the divorce and maybe even forgive her dad, who was the culprit of all her sorrow for the last couple of years. Definitely a missed opportunity.
All in all, though, it was still a good read. There were some really touchy moments in there. My favorite part was the first soccer match. There was some real tension and the part where Jules' advice decided the match, felt really good. At the end there's some real chemistry going on and that's also when I knew they were meant to be together.
Another part that I really liked was the birthday party. The slicing of the cake, it was very subtle and very romantic. Sometimes those are the hardest parts when it comes to writing a romance. It's easy to be tempted to go overboard and try for the most original and exquisite ways to be romantic, but you managed to capture something that felt real and magnetic during an ordinary backyard party. Nicely done!
I hope this review is helpful, but if anything's unclear, feel free to PM me.
| Epic Asian chapter 9 . 8/29
Not liking the main character... She's seems very shallow and self centered... Expecting some major character development throughout the rest of the chapters
| Lullaby Street chapter 32 . 2/26/2014
Hi! You probably don't remember me but I never got to finish reading your Romeo story in 2010, when I found your story...so it was really great to come back and readnthenwhole story. All in all, your writing is so in depth and enriched. The details are so precise, not just on how she's feeling or what what's thinking but even when it comes to her mannerisms. The plot was killing me with suspense the whole time! I kept wondering what was going to happen and how it would all get resolved, which is exactly how a story should make you feel, as if I am the character and these are my problems. I specially loved how realistic you made her; she wasn't this perfect Mary Sue character but instead she was wounded and calloused because of it but seeing her change/grow gradually was very insightful.
Great story! Thanks so much for all your time and effort to write it and finish it.
| Hopelessly Dark chapter 32 . 1/17/2014
I am crying tears right now it was so amazing very great Epilogue
| Miss E chapter 31 . 1/17/2014
Aw soo very cute I'm glad they got together at last!
| Guest chapter 30 . 1/17/2014
Aw this was such a heart warming moment
| xxSongBirdxx chapter 28 . 1/17/2014
oh dear what a prick first he makes it clear he finds her attractive and drops a bomb like that!
| xxSongBirdxx chapter 27 . 1/17/2014
Gosh she is so stuck in the friendzone
| xxSongBirdxx chapter 26 . 1/17/2014
that was a sweet moment
| xxSongBirdxx chapter 24 . 1/17/2014
hey she should be happy! now her and Bryan can be together
| xxSongBirdxx chapter 23 . 1/16/2014
They almost kissed!
| xxSongBirdxx chapter 22 . 1/16/2014
Aw he so has feelings for her!
| xxSongBirdxx chapter 21 . 1/16/2014
Wow for someone who has a girlfriend he sure is paying Jules Alot of attention...
| xxSongBirdxx chapter 20 . 1/16/2014
ooh someone's noticed. and Jason sounds kind of mean
| xxSongBirdxx chapter 19 . 1/16/2014
yes this was pretty depressing