Reviews for I Am Legion
The One With the Walrus chapter 2 . 3/14/2009
R2, I must say, this is beautiful. Man, I can tell you'll have with this.
mikey magee chapter 1 . 3/12/2009
I love how you started off with dialog. It made question who was speaking, why, and what the setting was. Very nice.

"The room was peacefully silent" watch out for redundancies. You don't need "peacefully" just write "silent" it reads a lot better.

The dialog was wonderful. I liked how you transition between the two identities and gave them two completely different was of talking. Very nice for character development. "“Hell if I know, woman. It sure ain't interrogatin' me.”"

The only thing I would suggest you do is be a little more descriptive and cut back on the adjectives. "She smiled warmly" can be elongated to "She smiled. It was so bright it could have lit up the world." or something like that.

Nice job!
Steven Shevill chapter 1 . 3/12/2009
Brilliant. It's hard to write characters, and I imagine it must be even harder to write characters within characters. Each personality was wonderfully depicted, easily discernable from the others and I fell in love with your dialogue.

I know it sounds a bit demented, but I'm actually kind of excited to meet Nora's other alters (if she has any that weren't mentioned in the beginning).

Also, I really liked: "freckles had conquered her face." Glorious bit of detail there.

Can't wait to see where you're going with this. Update soon!

Kudos and good luck,

Steve :)