Reviews for Smoke Rings
ballon estranger chapter 1 . 8/23/2011
the words roll easily off the tongue, but not like smoke rings themselves. it's a little too complicated, almost, to be comprehended on the first-read, but even after reading again and again, I still don't quite get it. the rhymes, though, starting on the end of one line and continuing to the start of the next, are nice. All the assonance, and every technique. But for some reason all the poems of yours I read that aren't immediately emotional and open are technical, too technical for reading. They seem to be - how to say - saying something too sophisticated, messing and mixing up sophistry within words with a difficult-to-express subject.

this isn't one of your best, but it's good enough. And at least it's clearer than the Nowhere Woman, which is almost incoherent in how it vomits images within images, giving no time for the reader to absorb it. In the same way, so does this.
Isca chapter 1 . 3/13/2009
"I loved her once." What a sorrowful opening line! It's glorious!

"It's dry out." The simplicity of this statement is very powerful.

"And she would die." Heart-breaking!