|Reviews for Love Drabbles|
| blueeee chapter 2 . 3/24/2009
great story! I love the lyrics of the song you placed in the story. it gives a certain atmosphere...and the song you used have adorable lyrics :3“
"And when I ask you to hold me tight,
I beg you to make it be all night…"
| SY Iceflake77 chapter 1 . 3/13/2009
LOL CONSTRUCTIVE CRIT.
Anyway, I'm making comments as I go along so I won't seem so scatter-brained. XD
I suggest you don't introduce the characters' full names extremely early in the story. It makes it sound like a documentary. Let your readers get used to the characters first. (This might be a little hard considering how short this thing actually is. xD)
grew even more red 'grew even redder'
Overall, you could put a little more narrative into it because I, as a reader, don't really feel Jasmine's feelings. It's like 'Oh, she likes Isabela. Okay...' Put more flowery stuff down to let the reader delve into the characters' minds to get a better feel of what they're reading.
You did subtle foreshadowing in the first part which was good but you could make it a little more obvious (or maybe I'm just dense...?). ;)
WHEE CONSTRUCTIVE CRIT END.