|Reviews for Burned in Pain|
| Anaben chapter 1 . 3/14/2009
Paragraph 1: Why 'strangely worry too?' Fear and pain would naturally produce this feeling.
'not able' to unable (or you could delete this since it follows if one is frozen, they are unable to move)
'rest' to rested, correct tense.
'to far' to 'too far'
The opening lines are an indicator of what the rest of the story will read like.
Intriguing ending. I hope there is no deus ex machina that prevents her from being tortured.
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 3/14/2009
Wow... that was haunting and vivid. I really loved it.
You have talent and I hope to read more of yours soon!
I just recently posted one completed story and one story I have yet to finish and I would love for you to read and review them with any honest suggestions or feedback you might have. Opinions from a writer like you would be so great.