Reviews for Welcome to Heartbreak
CocoBananas chapter 29 . 8/21
Please don't take this as a hate comment or anything but I honestly feel like the two main characters were not realistic at all. The fact that you have made Eva so weak just goes to show that it's hard to see how she has changed as a person. I understand she's young and in love but shouldn't heartbreaks make a person stronger right after they've fallen? Eva could be much more than this and she shouldn't have gone to him so easily. Adam on the other hand was being very unrealistic. His morals were terrible and he should've broken it off with Rachel if he really loved her - another reason why Eva should have just left him. Once a cheater always a cheater - you've portrayed this character as a person who has his flaws and his goods but I don't understand what's so good about him for Eva to run back into his arms each time. Maybe you could make that more clear? But I guess if it wasn't for this I wouldn't have kept coming back to see the ending.
Guest chapter 1 . 3/24
Are you also in wattpad i read your story in wattpad.I think title is his maid.
Bookworm chapter 5 . 11/20/2016
Ok just some tips for consistency. Not sure if this is based in the US or not but med school comes after a 4 year university and takes 4 years. Unless Adam graduated high school and undergraduate school super early then he would be 26 upon graduating med school. Additionally, unless the Porsche is a 4 door there is no back seat. I've been in some and let's just say there is no way 3 people let alone one person would fit back there. I've been enjoying the story but I just wanted to let you know those things in case you ever do an edit.
SuckerForDelena chapter 15 . 6/29/2016
Fuck! He's going to ask Rachel to marry him on his dad's party isn't he? That's gonna be his gift! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Can't they get together? Ugh!
silentscream4luv chapter 31 . 4/17/2016
loved it.
Guest chapter 3 . 9/8/2015
geez it's a nice story but the grammar makes it hard to read.
Nightjinx chapter 9 . 6/12/2015
I like this book quotes bit, mainly because of the story line , however is has a complete misconception of rich people...they aren't like that at all...
Nightjinx chapter 4 . 6/12/2015
Gosh Adam sounded just like me when he said horses are my passion! I have four of my own and am still trying to convince my mum that we need more!
Asiah chapter 31 . 5/11/2015
I've never posted on here before but I just had to after I read this book. I just wanted to say this was one of my top books in life. I'm so obsessed. I need you to publish this and then write so much more! You're brilliant!
Holly A96 chapter 1 . 1/31/2015
Your writing is amazing and the story is great. It's the kind of story I would see in a book shop have you ever thought of writing your own books? .
nat chapter 25 . 1/23/2015
Although this is very well written, I must say that I did not like the ending at all. I do not like Adam and do not understand why Eva still accepted him. Throughout the story it seemed like she was always proving herself to him and yet even when he acknowledges that he had pushed her too far, he turns to suicide. She tries to stop him and he yells at her for giving up. Eva has a spine made of steel. Nevertheless this story was a lovely read. :)
25435345gb chapter 2 . 1/18/2015
You're a good writer, and you've set up the story very nicely- but I'm finding it really hard to root for Eva, who's coming off as lazy and entitled and spoiled. And completely hypocritical, since she's judging all of the rich people for those poor qualities.
pastelcolors chapter 2 . 12/22/2014
The writing style makes me uncomfortable. I think you're trying to make it sound more formal, but there are parts where it sounds awkward.
Mr. Cooper and Adam's fight, too. The way it was worded just didn't feel right.
Octo chapter 1 . 12/5/2014
I managed to read a chapter and a half before I had to give up on your story due to your main character being one of the most whiney characters I have ever read. I don't know if this may just be a reflection on the possibility that you've never had a real job yourself, but I can guarantee waking up at seven and cleaning a few rooms is not the worst thing on earth, and certainly can't be compared to 'heartbreak'. Not to mention her immediate judgement on the rich family that employed her and housed her. So what if they 'looked down at her'? She is their employee not their guest. There are a hell of a lot worse ways your boss could look at you.
That being said, I didn't notice that many grammatical errors, and I believe you do have a rather good grasp on writing. I suggest working on your writing technicques and plotting, and also gaining some more life experience to aid you.
I just wanted to let you know so that you can grow as a writer- after all, we wouldn't be writing on fictionpress if we were already good enough to write our own, right? Good luck to you!
Piru chapter 21 . 11/5/2014
Wow. Eva is really stupid to have only figured out who Allison is now.
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