|Reviews for Welcome to Heartbreak|
| honey splattered brains chapter 16 . 7/13/2010
adam is so going to propose to rachel. thats why hes so freaked out and telling her repeatedly and why he wanted that last time to be with her. D:
| honey splattered brains chapter 11 . 7/13/2010
adam is trying to make it seem like their relationship is so innocent to eva just so that he could continue what they do.. XD he totally knows hes cheating on rachel but just doesnt admit it. and eva is all what? XD
| honey splattered brains chapter 10 . 7/13/2010
deena is so onto her XD
| LyssaMarie chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
i just want you to know that i absolutely adored this story it is defiantly one of my favorites.
i will defiantly be reading more of your work in the near future.
| Ol4iks chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Such an amazing story!I fell in love with it from the first chapter!And read the whole thing in 2 days:)I'm happy that everything ended so good!But now i don't have anything to read:(
| Blackeab1191 chapter 6 . 7/9/2010
hey, i just thought i would let you know, that when you say "You treat him by Adam, don't you?", where I'm from (Minnesota) instead of treat, its address, like you address them my their first name, not sir of Mr cooper. but anyway, i love the story so far, its really fun, keep up the good work!
| the.writer.hannah chapter 17 . 7/8/2010
Gotta admit; im definitely with Eva on this one. Been there, done that, 'cept i guess I would be Rachel, but I was still mad as hell anyways. Adam better have a very good reason to haul his ass outta the hole he just stuck it in or i refuse to ever acknowledge him.
| Ivix chapter 31 . 7/8/2010
I just have to say, that this is one of the best stories that I'd already read, here..
no, not just here.., man.. you should publish this.. i would really buy it..
and read it countless times..
keep writing good stuff like this..
| Midnight.Moonlight.Mirage chapter 31 . 7/8/2010
So I stayed up from 11 p.m. to 3:45 A.M to start this story and then woke up at 6:30 the following morning to read until 5 P.m. to finish the story! ANd let me tell you it was well worth it. I absolutely loved this story, i faintly thought about reviewing every chapter, but I figured I might as well just leave one big one in the end, instead of little ones with questions you would anwser. The writing, wlthough laced with some grammatical mistakes, was great.
It didn't feel like i was reading when I was in Eva's POV, it felt like i was living the story along with her. And let me tell you, what a twisted story It was! Everytime I put myself in her place, I thought about what awful, terrible luck she had. I repeated to myself "I'd kill myself," like a mantra, which, gave me a shock when I realized the wrong character had decided to follow my feelings! ahahha.
And no matter how much I cursed Adam throughout the story, (hysterically, and out loud, might I add) I couldn't help but feel worst, becasue even through al the things he did to her, you still wanted to forgive him! Because you loved him as a character like Eva did.
My favorite character by far was Alexis. Everytime I saw her I wispered to my self, "here's comes my entrance into the story," because of the similarities between our two characters in personality was uncanny. I still feel like you should have told a little about her parents story, but i always like a little open ended mystery.
Anyway i loved the story, and this is just one long a** review, isn't it? This story was marvelous, it took me on rollercoaster ride with my emotions and that's what I loved the most about it.
| xfirelilly18 chapter 1 . 7/7/2010
it's good, but you use commas a bit too much. for example:
"Two expensive cars were parked inside of the property, in front of the mansion." - you don't need one there
and: "It only made me cry more. It only helped me remember, once again that, my mother, the one who was always, smiling at me, talking to me about college, when suddenly... it happened."
write it something like this instead: "It only made me cry more and remember, once again, that the mother who was always smiling at me and talking about my future had died so suddenly."
commas create pauses and when you have a lot in a sentence like you do at times, it makes them choppy and not flow. Without flow, the story is hard to read and comprehend.
just a little english grammar advice, because I know it isn't your first language :)
| Da-zGreen chapter 31 . 7/6/2010
Gosh, you did an awesome job! Loved this story. Hope we get to see Adam and Eva starting their own family in Alexis's story!
| StarsShine chapter 31 . 7/5/2010
Amazing story! I couldn't stop reading it for the entire afternoon! I practically held my breath until it was over. So much drama and heartbreak and angst...totally loved it! It's pretty rare to see 1k reviews here on Fictionpress and you deserved every single complimentary review! Your writing totally rocks. I'm gonna go check out your other stories now. :D Keep writing! Love your work!
| tracy081 chapter 31 . 7/4/2010
Pls show me how can I review the delete sences? I don't have FP account.
| Death's Sweet Kiss chapter 31 . 7/2/2010
I enjoyed this story.
I think the only thing I didn't like was the fact that she returned. It would've been interesting to see what would've happened if she had not returned to work there.
As such though, your writing was well detailed, but not meticulous and it was certainly worth my time. I have been searching for a good story to read and I found one.
Thank you for sharing your talent and do continue.
| ghostlylila chapter 1 . 7/1/2010
This story actually made my stomach hurt in some parts - and that's a good thing. I think that is a really really good story, thanks so much for writing!