Reviews for I'll Be Waiting For Monday
Lizzy chapter 1 . 3/15/2009
Very moving, I'll admit. It had me wanting more to read.

The manner in which you wrote this was very sombre, adding to the effect of the mood. I quite like the way imagery was used with the way you described everything from her silken black hair to the feelings of the narrator after the girl's demise. Very excellent.

I think that maybe you could've excluded the concrete detail that told that the girl had killed herself and instead implied what she had done; perhaps leave out the bit which tells that she killed herself on the weekend? I think it would better leave the death as a bit of a mystery to the reader so that they may be able to piece together what's happening as they read along.

I think, if I may say so myself, that you are on your way to becoming a very successful writer (and one day novelist).