Wow.

You're writing style leaves me breathless. It's very beautiful. You have a way with syntax and diction that is absolutely mesmerizing. The stucture is also very pleasing to the eyes (as opposed to writers that like to write page-long paragraphs).

Characters are truly captivating, as well. Although I cannot wait to learn more about Dresden and Neily.

My only criticism? Sometimes you went so in-depth with the detail that I skipped over it. It was rare, but it happened. I did that mainly in the first chapter with certain tid-bits about the lake. I was impatient haha so sorry for that.

I'm very interested to see what will happen next in this abstract world. Keep up with the speedy updates :)

Yo homie!

Your updating skillz are wicked rad this time around, I'm digging the Speedy Gonzales thing you've got going on. Dresden's all kinds of hot-diggity-doggy in this chapter. I also thought the part when the wish happened was off the hook. The whole spine alignment was whack though, I'ma put the beat down on you if you keep that up, fo' shizzel fo' sho.

Word to your mother,

Riley

P.S. wow...gangsta'. haha. the whole "word to your mother" has me laughing cuz everytime we have a test, my spanish teacher says "Peace Out. Word to your mother. And as long as there are tests in school there shall be prayer" or something to the effect. :) Muy bueno :) (Very good). And HOT DIGGITY YOU UPDATED! lol. (i hate that word...lol) One-way ticket to happiness...if only the rest of us good get that

To the weird writer behind the FictionPress screen-

Your story was quite interesting. I enjoyed the part where Neily jumped into the water to save the boy even though she couldn't swim so the fish helped her, but I thinnk you need to work on grammar because you seem to be making easy mistakes like typing "you're" instead of "your" or forgetting quotation marks. I hope you're better about updating than you have been recently, as the ridiculously long wait for your last update on a story was enough to make your readers shun you (Yes, because mine wasn't. sure). In any case, I think Neily is kind of intruging and that the boy she 'saved' was hopefully, actually real and not a fragment of the imagination.

Sparkles, unicorns, and best regards,

Riley