Reviews for There Exists a World
TinuvielDork chapter 1 . 6/21/2005
I've read this poem twice, and I'm still kinda confused, but in a good way! I really liked this poem. Keep it up!
SpyTrap chapter 1 . 12/7/2003
"Between the day and between the night." ? How can you be between either of those?
"Where your tears suspend in time." How is this relevant? Is the "you" a general type of thing, or is it referring directly to the reader?
What exploding moon? Why is it exploding?
Starry embers? What and where are they?
"A world that no one remembers." It's nit-picking, but "that" should be "which."
Birds that fly too high? This seems to imply that there's a limit.
"The living have yet to die." So? That statement holds true in every place I've ever heard of.
"Widened shore." Widened compared to what?
"Breathes not once." Is this saying that it breathes multiple times, or that it doesn't breathe at all?
"That world that was no more." Ok, this line completely distorts any sense of time I have. Confusing, confusing.
"Where happiness is what it seems." It seems... like what?
"A world of silent chime." Why are the chimes silent, and why is that relevant?
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Another thing- you seem to use this form quite a lot: "[Preposition] the [adjective] [noun]." (For example, "Past our loving memories.")In general, this form doesn't do much for me.
shana chapter 1 . 9/30/2001
just a suggestion but i think you should take this, lenghthen it and make it into a song.
Cim chapter 1 . 5/28/2001
Exploding moon! _\\ !
VG Sherry chapter 1 . 5/27/2001
wow.
Jade chapter 1 . 5/13/2001
o.o* By the Goddess... *is getting more and more jealous*
ACE1 chapter 1 . 4/27/2001
Metma member here... I think you should submit this one. IT's a bit more coherent than the other poem. I like it. Usually, I like to read free verse because a lot of people mess up the rhymes and make it sound horrible, but all the rhyming for this seemed incredibly appropiate and interesting. I Like it.
Mu The Mucca chapter 1 . 4/25/2001
Luff it! hey, Mandy said you were choosing between this and another poem...I think you should do this one! Just my opinion, though...Good!
classica forgot to sign in chapter 1 . 4/25/2001
This rocks. Really. It goes perfectly with an original story my friend silverchaser and I are co-writing. Keep it up! -classica
ZG Vallea chapter 1 . 4/24/2001
Randomly looking through the just in list, I find this; and it's a really good poem _ It doesn't necessarily have to make sense to anyone at all, but I think a person can at least draw their own conclusions from it. I'm glad to have read this _ Keep it up!
METMA Mandy Signed Review chapter 1 . 4/24/2001
Hmm... *confuzzled* what is this referring to, actually? SOrt of a utopia sort of thing? It's good anyway... hmm... do i like this better than the world of the dead poem? Well its less morbid anyway... i'm not sure, let me think...