|Reviews for Saffron|
| Kate Marshall chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
Your first line is great. "A callous crow call," I /love/ it. It started off the poem wonderfully. The alliteration in it is really cool, too. ;)
I also like your word choice.
in languid winter air
drips into my window -
a hollow eye and glass veneer.
Certain words you use just add so much to your tone. In the second stanza, your tone is so flat, and I strangely find myself loving it.
And on a yellow bus,
there's flat and tired
faces, and girls I can tell
look like their mothers.
That second stanza for some reason is one of my favorite lines from this poem. You're very frank in this. And I think that that fits the poem amazingly well.
Although I have to say I'm a little confused as to what your main subject is. You don't even allude to it much. All I can say about the poem is that it was well written and pretty. But I can't say that I related to it or anything. So that, for me, takes away from your poem.
But nice job!
-Katie, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)
| Justin Vengeance chapter 1 . 3/19/2009
The second poem of yours I've reviewed
I must say I love your cultural references and your choice of words.