|Reviews for Slow Down|
| Freak-of-Spade chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
I didn't even realise you'd submited an entry D: I thought everybody had given up and droped out ;_;
BUT OH MY GOD.
I'M SO HAPPY I FOUND IT.
GREATSOMENESS! I loved the insults battle scene you came up with, it actually mademe laugh XD IT WAS JUST SO CUTE! It made me revert back to fangurl mode in the best way possible :D
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ENTRY!
PEOPLE LIKE YOU JUST MAKE MY ENTHUSIASM SHOOT UP! YES! WERE THAT ALL OTHERS WERE LIKE YOU ;_;
I LOVED IT.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK. YOU.
*huggles and smoches on the neck* :3
| frogs of war chapter 1 . 3/22/2009
I don't think you failed. It is 'more adult', isn't it, even if it isn't as adult as you wanted it to be? You could try going for reactions or metaphors rather than physical descriptions like 'body heated', 'volcano inside him', 'growing need', 'heart starved for'.
Or you could simply stay in your comfort zone. There is nothing wrong with slash that doesn't go beyond kissing. I write it. I will say that I can write more graphically than I feel comfortable reading. Of course all the editing a story needs desensitizes me to the graphicness, so each new story is more vivid unless I pull my punches.
Since I don't know what you were after, I just say that I liked it fine. Bret surprised me when he took the lead and the POV kept shifting, but not annoyingly. Good job.
| big.break.and.laryngitis chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
Oh, wow. You already win in my eyes because you totally wrote in past tense and STILL never said "said." See, I cheated and wrote in present. *pouts* but I ask la Freak and la Freak say "says" okay, so I figure it not REAL cheating, ja? Anyway. I really liked it. They're so... endearing. And adorable. I like it :)