|Reviews for Hilfe Mich|
| WinterxXxKiss chapter 1 . 3/27/2009
| Iris101 chapter 1 . 3/23/2009
So far so good
| MarloCarlo10 chapter 1 . 3/22/2009
Hehe I almost didn't read the story but I was drawn to it! And it seems really good!
| Ra'akone chapter 1 . 3/22/2009
An interesting concept, a Nazi soldier bound into some kind of...doll. So, what will happen next chapter?
| The Melissa Occult chapter 1 . 3/22/2009
I found this story rather interesting, and I would have continued reading if more chapters had been here.
I like your choice of main character, though I'd like to get to know him a little better. You introduce him well in the beginning, however, by the end, he sounds like a doll, and not at all like a former German soldier. Make the things he thinks or notices feel more... German soldiery.
I am slightly unsure as to what I think of the use of the * in the story, for me, knowing a bit of German, it was distracting, though I can see how someone might need to have translations. On that note as a whole though, perhaps just make it a custom to translate any words you use down at the bottom of the page, or if the story gets significantly longer, include a glossary at the back. Some stuff should be fairly obvious, but it would be a nice addition all the same.
Also, he goes to sleep sometime in 1950, and comes back over half a century later. He's probably not going to look at the world like "oh, that's sort of neat..." He's probably going to be like "It's legal for girls to show that part of their body in public?"
Another thing on that note, the USSR fell. In his wanderings, perhaps he had lamented the division of his country between his enemies, and now, Germany is again whole. Does he want to go back? Does he feel any particular affections towards his fatherland, or was he just fighting because they told him to?
While, I know it isn't really the point of the story, making your main character a Nazi is a rather powerful thing to do, and you should take full advantage of it, one way or the other. It's not like "Oh, Bob? Yeah, he's a Nazi." You can do so much with it. Is he also a victim? Does he feel justified in what he did? Is he meant to be seen as an 'evil' person who must play the part of the protagonist? Or is he just another guy who happened to be born in the place he was born in?
You can show him in many different lights, and highlight all sorts of interesting aspects of a main character, and it just seems a shame to treat such a powerful choice of persona with the lack of any real substance that it seems to pick up as the story goes on.
All in all though, I enjoyed it, and I'll try to check out some more of your stuff later (As you said it was from a world that you had, which I am interested in hearing more about),