I don’t know what to say about this chapter…. But I think I’m slightly in shock from the fact that this *is* the last chapter, so it’s turning my mind to mush.

I liked how you chose not to go into a religious themed ending - via the pearly gates - or something. I feel that your story has religious themes as a whole, but I’m glad that you didn’t subscribe to the easy way, as it were, and end it like that.

I feel like I want more time with Quinn and Fern, I love them, like they love each other, like I love cake, if you will. Like I’ve said before this is publishable work - you’re around 60,0 words so you’re just a hair above a novella, but I think this would make an excellent book. And please believe me that I’m not trying to sound clichéd, but I would so buy it, and read it multiple times, before placing it on my shelf (a place of homage).

I don’t really know what else to say. Goodbye Fern! Goodbye Quinn! Fly free!

I hope to see more work form you soon!

Much love,

Juliet.

P.S. This story is the BOMBdotCom. :)

There’s that women with her knitting needles again! I so caught that!

“Fern feels, no, no, is connected” - I feel like only one ’no’ would have been enough, rather then two.

For the last few chapters I’ve been getting a since that the story was winding down, so I feel prepared that I’m practically at the end, but it makes me sad just the same. I’ve really come to love your story, it has an innocence, and eloquences that I don’t often see. It’s whimsical, yet deeply rooted.

And O yes, let me mention the MEETING - its only been twenty some odd chapters in the making. I feel like it was good, you did them justice. Maybe the meeting was a little abrupt - I think if you had wanted to you could have added a few chapters about the city, and the search, but it’s fine that you didn’t.

I’m off to read the epilogue….

Much love,

Juliet.

This was beautiful. It made my heart cry.

“She asked to the air, to the urn, to Quin.” - Quinn

When I first read the part about Fern visiting her mother, and introducing the urn as her husband, I was like ‘whoa now,’ and I could just image the mothers strange reaction to such a statement, even if was from her daughter-stranger. I kind of wish you had played that up a bit more, just to give the reader a strong sense at just how far gone Fern was already.

The rest of the chapter was kind of so-so. Not much happens in terms of story development. I liked that Fern went around and scattered his ashes in ‘Their’ places, but I wish you have given me something else to read in this one.

I liked you ending metaphor, about staring at the stars and then waking up on a train. Lovely work with that. I really enjoyed these last two chapters, please update soon.

Much love,

Juliet.

For the first couple of paragraphs I kept asking myself: “Who is Cholena?” But by the 3rd paragraph or so, it all started to come back to me, and I got on board.

I think Cholena is a metaphor for God - in a since I don’t think at the end you’re going to have a scene with God/Angels/Pearly gates, or anything like that, and I’m not getting a since that Cholena wants or needs to move on to death part deux. Yet she’s all knowing, and she seems to understand ‘death’ and so much of everyone she comes into contact with.

And O! Sick twisted fate that they were both in the same place, just not at the same time! Agony I tell you!

I think it would have made the structure of the chapter read easier if you put some sort of break between the Quinn part and the Fern part. When the initial transition took place I was taken aback for a second because I wasn’t sure you had shifted gears so suddenly. Just a thought.

So they’re both headed for the city! My anticipation is waxing like a full moon.

Much love,

Juliet.

this is a very impressive story. You write very smoothly and project emotions rather acutely. You might want to get a beta reader though, i noticed several typos. I'm looking forward to reading the rest

I just read this story all the way through, and all the while thinking that this is one of the most beautiful stories I've ever read-on and off fictionpress. Every chapter is a work of art-and I really hope that didn't sound cliche-but it's true.

This was such a sad chapter, and honestly the whole time I was like: ‘Don’t die! Don’t die’ even though I’ve had since chapter one to get used to the idea, it still feels wrong for him to die. This couple that you’ve created, is pretty much up there with the great literary couples. Not in the same way of course, because this is different. I guess, what I’m trying to say is you’ve done a superb/amazing/splendid job of creating this story, and I know I’ve said it before, but this is publishable material.

I liked how you incorporated Edith Piaf back into this. I remember that chapter way back when when Fern was singing that song as loud as she could; and by having Quinn sing it at the end it really drove the earlier connections of the song itself, and their time in France together. You in a way bridged the gap between the first half of the story and now.

Quinn’s actual death was a little creepy, and kind of scary. It made me think that fate was saying ‘huh, this is a big moment for the world,’ like it might be kismet for them to be together, and apart.

As always I’m dying for another chapter, please update soon!

Much love,

Juliet.

Hey, it’s the Review Marathon this weekend! (links in my profile)

I’m very glad to see this chapter - I feel like it’s been ages since you’ve gone back in time to show us what Fern and Quinn were really like. Before death that is…

I loved the awkward moment when Fern arrived and she vomited; it wasn’t the cliched throw each other into the others arms, or an argument type of thing. For me it felt like I was looking at something deeply personal, and I should (metaphorically of course) look away, yet, I could not. That’s always the best writing. I was in the apartment with them, it was an amazing feeling.

It also fits Fern’s character that she would do that, and it also fit Quinn’s that he would tell her right away.

I was intrigued by the French section; I don’t recall you ever mentioning it in any previous chapter, but I enjoyed it. And on a strange little side note, I, like Remy, have a cat named Marcel (mine‘s a boy so it‘s spelled differently) but I’ve never known of another cat named that before, so I was very happy to see that. It’s endeared Remy to me for life. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

Hey, it’s the Review Marathon this weekend! (links in my profile)

There are a lot of transcendentalist thoughts in this chapter - who is god? Why are Fern and Astrid in this situation? Should Fern wait? and so on…

I’m still a little mixed about the new direction that your story is heading. I feel like I haven’t heard from Quinn in a while, and Astrid just seemed like a means to an end, so I can’t really say as of yet where these characters will end up, and I’ve grown to care for them, so I’m invested now.

I didn’t really like the Romeo and Juliet reference - I feel like Quinn and Fern have a relationship that is far different (even though some points are the same) and far more advanced then that story. Not that I have anything against Shakespeare’s great work, I just feel that Fern comparing herself to Juliet was unsettling. Even though she starved herself to death, I hadn’t, up until this point, viewed her death as suicide, it just felt like the logical thing to do. And suicide, by nature is illogical. It almost gives way to the idea that their human relationship was meaningless…. Although, having said that, your story is more about the hereafter, then the human world, and the idea of waiting staying true to love…. See, your story makes me think…. Sorry if that sounded a bit jumbled.

As usual I can’t wait to see what happens next. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

This story is moving along greatly and I can't wait for the chapter that says "(Chapter number here): The Reunion."

Hurray, you updated.

This chapter is much better then the last one; I felt like you were flustered about what to say, and so you just said it, rather remotely. Although in this chapter I saw your incisive eye for detail that I noticed in the rest of the earlier chapters.

I don’t really feel a lot of emotion for Astrid, either on a good angle or a bad angle. I suppose I just don’t see how she fits into the story as of yet. I understand that she mirrors Fern slightly, and that being with Astrid allows Fern to look at HER life, not the life she had with Quinn. I don’t know, I can’t put my finger on it, I’ll just have to see as the story continues on.

Please update soon.

Much love,

Juliet.

Can't wait until your next update! I'm addicted to your story!

“Fern kept one eye at the driveway, hoping to someday see Quinn's car in the driveway” - the use of DRIVEWAY twice feels a bit jumbled.

I noticed a strong comparison with the imagery of the birds being caged in the aviary, all while Fern was caged on the other side of the door, unable to get out. It was a very strong, clear, image/emotion in my mind.

I hate to say this, but I’m kind of on the fence about this chapter, it felt kind of so-so. We don’t really learn anything new, and in a way it feels like the story kind of stalls. It lacks your usual flare of imagery and dramatic emotional analyses.

Astrid is interesting, I hope she doesn’t turn into another Viviane… And I hope Fern doesn’t have a Katy Perry moment where she ‘kisses a girl, and likes it…’

Still in love with your story though, keep up the good work.

Love it.