i cant believe there arent any more comments aside from juliet's (although she is divine)

you are a genius

i've been crying non-stop through this story so far

OH! Why can’t they just be together! I can’t believe this is the last chapter, you simply must post more soon, if not for the fact that this story is so good, then for my sanity.

Almost everything I mentioned in the last review was found out here, so I’m contented.

I understand why Fern had to leave Quinn, but at the same time I’m not a fan of it. They belong together! But again, as I’ve said before you are a terrific writer, and the mood/themes/descriptions/depth of this story shines through in every sentence, and every section.

The love scene at the end was particularly telling - this is the first scene of it’s kind, even though its clear that this is not their first time. I loved the line: ‘Usually Fern was a labyrinth that Quinn could walk and come to the other side of easily. Tonight, Fern was a maze of tangled vines.’ - I can feel the intensity of it, and I can experience the pain and joy with them.

Both Fern and Quinn are so dynamic, so different, and so fragile, both together and apart. Ill-fated is the best way to put it I think.

Another striking thing that just occurred to me about your story is how you’ve shifted the focus from feeling sad that they’ve died (endings, metaphorical or otherwise) and taken it to the fact that they still need to find each other. It would have been easy to write about the sadness of their deaths and go on and on about how Quinn died, and then letter how Fern died, but you didn’t. You chose to go the unique way, and that is (to me anyway) what makes your story so brilliant. Oh, I’m in love, please post more soon.

Much love,

Juliet.

This chapter is a strong contrast to the last; where before they were easy and calm and ethereal by the ocean. In the city they feel more rooted, and dare I say, more real. I feel like I could understand them better there.

I just love these characters, and I love how much they love each other. They make me happy and envious, and when I read these scenes I feel like I’m living vicariously through them. It’s a wonderful feeling as a reader.

I think my favorite scene was the last one, where they were eating dinner together, just talking, and getting to know each other. It was intimate and surreal. It’s hard to place a timeline on your story because you go back and forth. This scene could only be a few away from Quinn’s death, or they could still have years together. It’s the not knowing that makes the themes very intense.

This story isn’t driven by ‘action’ it’s driven by understanding, and the reader goes on the same journey that Quinn and Fern go on.

Much love,

Juliet.

Another chapter rich in detail and theme. It’s interesting how Quinn believes that Fern hates the rain, although here, from Fern’s perspective she loves it. Or at least that’s the feeling that I got.

I particularly loved the gas station/rain scene. It’s heavy with metaphor; first how Fern and Quinn are mesmerized by nature, they almost become a part of it. Statue-like, just admiring the things around them, and especially when they come together they become a part of that nature. Moving toward the sunset/Moving toward each other. This story makes me believe in magic.

Much love,

Juliet.

So, Viviane is such a hussy, I no longer care that she’s sad - but bravo on your part for making me feel so deeply about these characters.

So many vivid moments to rematch in this review; Quinn holding the coffee mug while Fern dissects her life, realizing, of course, like all daughters eventually do, that they have become their mothers. Or he and the stranger playing cards in the cabin during the first storm. It all stands out so clearly in my mind. I know I’ve said it before, but you are very talented, and this could easily be published.

I was pleased with your conclusion to this chapter; both that Viviane is gone (that hussy) and that Quinn finally allowed himself to grieve for not only himself, but for Fern. And I liked the notion that you planted about them not needing to know the others past, because it really didn’t matter. It’s just another way that makes your story and writing very unique. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

What! How could Quinn do that! OMG!

I’m shocked, I’m flabbergasted, I’m in denial….

Really liked the scenes with Cholena - it’s a different kind of soothsaying to uncover unrecognizable parts of yourself then be told what will happen in your life, or what you should do, that kind of thing.

As usual your descriptions were marvelous. The imagery of the shack I found especially strong - the image of sunlight streaming through the holes in the ceiling is hypnotizing.

But, OH! I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Much love,

Juliet.

Vivian’s back-story was interesting here, it mirrored Quinn’s slightly; but even after everything about Ian was said it still makes me think that there’s more to her story that she’s not telling. And I liked how at the end Quinn didn’t comfort her, if he had it would have given the reader the impression that he was loosing Fern, or forgetting her. It’s clear the reader that Fern is the only one for Quinn, and he will not stray. For a character like that it’s important to both stay in those bounders but also explain why they were not breached, which I think you did very nicely here.

We get another motel scene, but for the reasons stated in the last review I’m glad that again they didn’t do it. Like I said before it makes sense (Why? The relationships - or at least, how I see it, isn‘t based on the physical. Yes they‘re attracted to each other, and yes they love one another, but the relationship wasn‘t driven by sex, and what they have goes beyond the realm of physical pleasure. As a reader you do not need to see that scene to enforce or assure that notion, it‘s merely an inherent fact.)

I’m glad that there are several more chapters in this story, because I want to see what other observations these characters make, but I also really, really want Quinn and Fern to reunite. I’m utterly invested in your story now. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

The level of intimacy in this chapter was very high; from the awkwardness of Fern in the bathroom and Quinn on the bed, to sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, even though nature, and fate eventually drew them together, and the morning after, the difference of Quinn disrobing and Fern who was much more complicated.

I wanted them to become intimates in this chapter, just because I’m selfish, but I’m also really glade that you had them wait, it fits so strongly with their characters and their relationship. Bravo on that front.

I think this might be my favorite chapter yet. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

“Quinn/Fern wanted to be a bird for real and fly away.” - I liked how you gave this sentence of imagery to both of them; it shows how in sink they are as lovers and as people.

As usual, another really good chapter, I loved the theme of freedom used throughout - Quinn on his boat experiencing a different feeling altogether then the emotions he lives on with Fern, or Fern actually freeing the birds, and then the ending scene where both of them realize that true freedom is being both free from life and free to love each other.

Much love,

Juliet.

"Maybe because nobody actually expects there to be anything on the other side. Or if they do, they don't expect it to be a waiting room. You didn't anticipate having to make another decision. And this time, you decide when you go on. That's scary, I think." - I think that one patch of dialogue can sum up your whole story.

I was sad to see Jane and Henry leave, but I’m also glad that they decided to make that journey together, it’s unconventional, but it fits.

I really want Quinn and Fern to find each other, this waiting for the star-crossed lovers to unite is killing me.

Much love,

Juliet.

In regards to this chapter I loved the imagery of Quinn completely covered in the grass, subtly smelling Fern’s perfume, and talking to her like she was there, even though he knows full well that she is not. I also liked the detail about continually having to remember her face and his former life, just so that he would *remember*

The knitting women returns! I think she’s wiser then she lets on, and the addition of Vivian is also interesting, like Jane I think that she’ll play a pivotal part in the story, I just haven’t figured out what yet. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

Jane is an interesting addition to the story. All of your characters are so real and they all have a strong place in relation to one another. I know I’ve said it before but you write wonderfully. Your style is charming, heartwarming, bittersweet, and glossy. I find myself unable to stop reading this.

I like how you go back and forth in time; it really, really fits with the theme of your story. And you give the reader subtle and strong glimpses of both worlds. You aloud at a mistake that Fern made (Quinn is telling her that it wasn‘t her fault) but then you strayed away from it. I’m wondering if that’s going to have a bigger significance later on in the story. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

I’m absolutely in love with your story. This is hardcore publishable material that you have here.

I both like and dislike the first half where you mention that Fern continuously went over to Quinn’s house to cook/clean for him. It felt so nineteen-fifties, and confined, not at all like the regular stories. But, having said that I also recognize that Fern wanted to do those things, because she loves Quinn so much.

This love story is epic; your repetition of freedom and cages was well planed out, and it all works very well with the avian undercurrents. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

“The words hit Quinn and Fern saw the obvious hurt in his eyes. Good, then, she'd done waht she wanted to do” - “What?”

What a delightful chapter (free from death and limbo) although I liked those chapters, this has such a lighter tone to it.

I really love your characters, they feel real and three dimensional and so easy, lovable, and relatable. The dialogue is also organic and charming. Nothing feels forced in this story, it jut flows easily and smoothly. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

“But somehow, somehow she knows she can't give up hope” - You’ve done this a couple of times, and although it really comes down to personal preference, I think you don’t need to use the same word twice to emphizise the meaning. Just using ‘somehow’ once would have given the same feeling as using it twice. But again that’s just a preference that I have.

You can feel a difference between the way that Fern experienced Limbo as opposed to how Quinn experienced it. Quinn was more external - wanting to see the world outside the train, wanting to get away, and then later running. While Fern worried more internally about how she got here, and what she was going to do. The section where she worried about her human body back on earth, and how it might not be found was especially strong. Whereas in the Quinn/Train chapter the notion of his mortal body had not baring on his mind. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.