“Ahead of him is a small, squat house build of bricks and stones.” - Perhaps did you meant ‘Built?’ I thought I’d mention it, since that was the only mistake I noticed.

Wow, what a chapter! I really like your style for this (I know I‘ve said it before) but it’s cultivated in a way that I’ve never seen before. It fascinates me.

Both Fern and Quinn are very likable characters, and I loved how you portrayed death through a train, and the landscape surrounding it. There are also several clues that you give the reader about the people who’ve stayed in limbo - the section about the tall buildings by the sea was especially prevalent.

I also found it unique that you made him die from emphysema; especially considering that he’s so young.

And you leave us with another brilliant cliffhanger; I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Much love,

Juliet.

This chapter is much more in-depth and intensified then the first, and it has a very different vibe to it.

The first half focused more on the loose ends that Fern experienced - seeing people she had once thought never to see again, and going slightly more in depth with some of the reasons why she and Quinn left.

The second half was more in tune with Fern experiencing her grief and even slightly compartmentalizing it. When she was in the house, noticing how the aviary was empty (a symbol for her own loss and emptiness) she reflects more on the reasons for things happening, rather then what happens.

And then, after all that sadness, you end the chapter on a high note, which was very unexpected and threw me for a loop.

Again, I have to say that I really enjoyed your style. You give the reader a strong sense of time and characterization but you don’t weigh your writing down, which is a hard trait to find in a story. And, I’m completely riveted (in a healthy way) as to what’s going to happen next. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

Interesting first start! I have to say that I really like the hints that your giving the reader. All of the little clues beckoning for a greater understanding of your story as a whole.

Your narration was flawless, so far as I could tell, and you kept the tone lively throughout.

The length was a little on the short side - you never want to go too long, or too short, and this was borderline in the too short category, but to counterbalance that out you gave us a lot of detail/imagery, and you didn’t really leaving me wanting more. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

Oh, no! Poor Quinn.

I really like the way you've written this-I guess I should call it your style. I'm not sure why exactly, but this story has a certain flow to it and it's really good.

I think at one point though you whiched verb tenses, though, right when Fern's father called, and she hung up. You had past tense, and then it was present tense, when she was thinking about Quinn.

Looking forward to the next chapters. :)

this is without a doubt one of the most beautiful stories i have ever read. (better than twilight you can trust me on that). i adore it. continue to write this masterpiece!

is that the end of the story?

or are u not done wit it

i realy luv this story

it makes me sad

but in a gud way i gess

Sigh (in a good way), I can't help but look forward to each and every one of your chapters. I absolutely LOVE your writing style, I find it very poetic and smooth and beautiful. Plus the fact that it makes me feel like I'm there with all the characters. Oh, did I mention how I've fallen in love with Quinn and Fern? :D

The last line of Chapter 14 is wonderfully romantic and sappy. And I love it!

Indeed

Oh my God, that last line is so amazingly sappy! XD

Looking forward to the next chapter, 'cause I love Quinn and Fern.

Your writing is beautifully eloquent, excellently worded. The bittersweetness, images, feelings...absolutely gorgeous.

I really love this story. I don't really know what to say about it, but I really do love it. Quinn and Fern, i dunno, just belong together, and I want them to be together.

Update soon! :) K

Wow. This is one of the best prologues I've ever read - and I have to say, it's almost entirely because of the first and last lines. :) Some of the middle was a little tedious - nothing a good editor can't fix - and the birds a little Forrest Gump-esque (but they're intriguing in themselves, so don't worry about them) - but the beginning and end made it great.

I can't wait to read on. :)

Aw, Jane and Henry moved on. :)

Each chapter is just another beautiful love story! I think that this one is one of my favorites. I had to read it a couple times because I love the feeling it gave me :)

I love how you are slowly unraveling the back story, interweaving it with the current story. I don't know if I've already said this, but it adds a bit of mystery.

Okay, I just have to say that I absolutely adore this!

If you've ever read the book The Five People You Meet in Heaven (I don't think many do), this reminds me of it somewhat. I get this really nice feeling from it. It's a very original and neat idea. I can't wait to read more! :)

Wow.

Yet another amazing chapter. I can't wait for an update and to read more. Good job and thanks for a good read :)