I really like your writing. I am bad at commenting and don't know what to say but figured I'd just tell you I've been reading for like an hour and don't want to be a weird stalker reader. P By the way, I love the starting with lyrics thing!

this story. i didn't understand till i read the third line from the bottom up.

when you're different, you're more unique.. but when you're different, you become outstanding... in the negative way. i don't understand why people want to be different, but still end up outcasting those who are truly different?

i guess you are stronger than the girl you've written (probably to portray yourself) in this story, because you lived to tell HER tale.

anyway, remember, you may be alone in being different where you are, but when you head out into the big world, you'll be accepted once again - because you no longer are different... because others are similar to you.

it's frowned upon by the society because being homosexual breaks cycle of reproduction. and it's only normal to like a different gender, because humans aren't the only ones like that... animals, and even trees are like that. but you'll eventually walk out of it i suppose? i'm not a lesbian, and so i cannot say you will, i can only pose it as a question because i don't know... i have a friend who is a lesbian too... she hasn't walked out of that 'shadows' or so perceived by the society... even though her ex-partner has left her for a guy. i guess everyone gets out of that phase at different times. i won't say too much here, but i can share with you a little more through PM if you remind me (and if you're interested) ... a week from now (my exams will be over by next friday).

be prepared for review FLOOD! build gryones, breakwaters, dams, whatever you can afford on this site if you don't want to drown in them.

'coming is the hardness and pain, happiness and light - i'll fight for it all'

so like what i've used to live thinking about, well which is why i'm still here, reviewing your works today.

btw... 'love of being alone' isn't anything bad. if that's what you wish for to leave you, then okay. but just saying... because i still love solidarity because it gives me the space and time to pause, to ponder, to wonder, to dream, to delve deeper, and most importantly, to understand life...

because i once read this somewhere - 'life is lived forwards, but understood backwards'.

I like this story, it is very powerful. Thank you for writing it!

I like how this story is told from the point of view as a dead person, but I wonder a lot about her feelings. I want to know what she was thinking and what she is thinking.

Something that really stands out is "different" and not caring. Since everyone is different, there really is no such thing, is there? Caring... well, no one cares anymore. We live in such a selfish, uncaring society. I think that caring has evolved into a new meaning; I think that when someone wants someone to care, they just want them to ask. They don't really care if they care.

I don't know if that made any sense at all to you.

I usually review after reading a fair amount of a story, so bear with me with that.

First of all, I can certainly feel the similarities between "the boy" in my story and "the girl" in yours.

They obviously have different characteristics that make them who they are, but I can feel that they are going through a similar pain. I'd also like to comment on how similar your story is structured compared to mine. While I don't feel it is as "broken", it certainly evokes familiar feelings, allowing me to further identify with your character.

So far it is going pretty good, and you've gave me enough information about her to grow attached to her, while still leaving the mystery as to the whole details of what happened.

Also, nice Offspring reference. I love that band.

God, it took me so long to log in! Typed my password wrong, so I had to do that recaptcha thing, and those things are fucking hard to read!

I thought she didn't give you the flu? Or is this a different person? I liked the line that you put in your profile. As well as that last little paragraph.

"I wish I could be normal... because then everything would be so much easier." I like this, it's so true. but i think you should be glad that you're not normal, you're not like everyone else, & that's what makes you special. you should be proud that you're different :)

keep up the good work :))

Review(s) from when this chapter was posted elsewhere:

Faithless Juliet:

I have to admit that it’s hard for me to review song formatting pieces, simply because I never do it, but I’ll try me best.

I liked all of the intricate images that you present of this character/subject. The cutting and cigarettes, although they’re a bit cliched they do form strong images that act as pillars of someone’s personality. Everyone has a mental image of someone who is so far gone they can’t see themselves clearly any more, and when I read this, you brought out mine.

I didn’t like how the piece was devoid of metaphor, and just unbroken lyric. It was hard for me to slow down and see the words as pictures in my mind. I know I mentioned the above images, but the rest of the piece felt very different. It was hard for me to strongly hold the narration in my head. I enjoyed the piece overall though. Keep up the good work, and keep posting.

Seems like you've had it tough, but life is hard for all of us in general. I'm gonna continue reading this and hope it's gonna be a happy ending ;p

"Simply because normal teenagers can't give anything, let alone everything." - So true. That goes for 80% of them.

Not many people would be interested in reading about writers lives, but I hope this will be interesting.

Good writing though.

'I try hard to deny it' i get why you use try here, but somehow i think that using tried would sound better.

and i like the way you ended the chapter. nice cliffhanger ((:

First of all, this is a beautiful piece of writing and I genuinely enjoyed reading it. I love the fact that there are so many interpretations of this, despite it being such a personal piece. I think people are always going to think they know what you’ve gone/are going through, but no-one ever really will because two people can go through the exact same thing but there is no guarantee they are going to feel the same emotions. And I think you are a wonderful writer.

This is gorgeous. I know I'm not supposed to say that and that I should be looking for mistakes and writing flaws but I can't because I know what you are going through. Or maybe I don't, but I do understand the feeling of loneliness and I know that sometimes it is so sharp it physically hurts.

good story. i found the pink and black thing slightly confusing, maybe that needs further definement. your writing style was good, it flowed for the most part. overall, i enjoyed reading the first few chapters and plan to read the rest very soon.