|Reviews for A World of Nothing|
| Talented Fool chapter 1 . 3/27/2009
Well, okay, where do I start?
...I think "wow" might be a good place. After that, I think I'll go on to say, "This was short and sweet and beautiful and miserable and wonderful, and I truly, deeply, madly loved it."
This is my sort of prose. Half the story told, but that's all you need to know. The narrator was so oddly hopeful, I'm not sure if it lightened the tragedy of the story or deepened it. Either way, I love that naive hope and anticipation expressed by the narrator.
Oh God, there really is so much I want to say about this piece, about how much I adore it, but I think the only way I can think of saying that is by favouriting it. It's not something I'm going to read, get touched by, and then forget. It's something I'm going to remember, and go back to experience again.
And I'll get to, because it will be there, in my favourites list, so all the world can know that I think this is just...
| alwaysautumn chapter 1 . 3/27/2009
GAH...WHY? Cliffer hangers are EVIL! Now I really want to know what happens next!(I know.. which is the whole point) Umm just a little sketchy in the beginning- Soo my suggestions :) Being a little more descriptive of the surroundings is a good skill to have. In your case you can't really describe too much about their appearance/ what the setting looks like, because you talked about there being 'no light'. So instead you could talk about the other senses e.g. sound, smell, taste. It gives readers an idea of what's going on. The other characters are not given much depth... they are a little shallow, I understand that the main character is important. Though, having depth in your characters really do help to build a story:)
Ohh and I have some questions( if they give away the story its ok you don't have to answer them)
Does the girl know why she's there in there? Has she always been there? What is her first language (you mention she was being taught Enghlish)?
Oh and the explaination for tying her up and stuff.. was kind of odd. I don't know... If you wanted to treat someone and find them a cure, you would want them in a good condition, wouldn't you? So you'd know if the cure worked. Keeping them locked up in a room sure, it's understand up... but being tied to a chair for ages... it's more primitive and ...more like torture.. I don't know :D That was what just I was thinking :) BUT.. I am very curious as to what is going to happen nextSo keep posting! Good start :)