|Reviews for Insignia|
| xxxyx chapter 1 . 10/24/2013
You know that 'Don't bother to R&R' doesn't work in my case. :3
Eh, why does this remind me, a tiny little bit, of my chapter 1? *shot* Okay, okay, I'll admit that yours have much better prose.
Nothing much to criticize, just that it sounds a little bit... iono, pompous? But it does exude the right 'prologuing' feel...
| zombie chickens chapter 1 . 1/13/2010
Warmongerers make me happy for some reason. Vivi la revolucione!..or whatever. Wait..World war four? You skipped one! lol. Sorry, I'm being random and I really like this beginning to a story a lot. It definitely sets the tone for the rest of it to be exciting and suspenseful..I hope. The chairwoman sounds really cool and I hope you go into depth later aout the other eght who get to work for her. I will definitely keep reading this one.
| TymCon chapter 7 . 9/5/2009
I hope jacks okay:O Okay wow this was so action packed, especiacally when they had to jump for the ladder:P
| TymCon chapter 6 . 9/5/2009
Okay i did not expect the interuption to msay theirs bombs in the city:O Well we finally find out about insignias:P Wow that ending could have been in a movie:O
| TymCon chapter 5 . 9/5/2009
Well that was interesting whit the gypsies and the insignia, I wonder why they would see jack as a threat. Hes probably an insignia:P
| TymCon chapter 3 . 9/5/2009
Hahahahahha i had a teacher like her once:P They never really called me an idiot but a good few people. Anyway i like youre characters descriptions in this, you give enough to imagine but not to much.
| TymCon chapter 2 . 9/5/2009
Hah i liked the interactions beeteen conner and jack, when he was holding him upside down and shaking him, that was hilarious:P I like the potters, they seem very interesting, especially maxwell.
| TymCon chapter 1 . 9/5/2009
Well this is interesting:P I like youre description of the woman, and the imformation on the goverment:P
| sophiesix chapter 5 . 9/3/2009
Awesome action! Man, if i saw that on the news i'd be in shock for a week ;D seems there's a reason our heroes can run fast then, to stay alive! the gypsies have me intrigued...
| sophiesix chapter 4 . 9/3/2009
Beth gets more and more interesting.. or is it just Haku-ans in general? "Yo Beth." I loved that bit, how she completely ignores his coolness XD. and "You’re not feminine at all,” that cracked me up. What kind of insult is that? But “dark skinned Tom”; it seemed kinda token to put the description in at that point, or else, it could've done with a bit more elaboration like, "Tom, his darker skinner making him stand out against the pale concrete of teh leachers... " or i dunno, something like that. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens if Beth runs against Jack :D
| sophiesix chapter 3 . 9/3/2009
hm, this Beth is intriguing. I wonder what happened to her on haku? Seems like missing three years of school in a war zone isn't going to be much bother ;)... and i wonder how they did know he was smart?
| sophiesix chapter 1 . 9/1/2009
Oh cool start! Worth reading even if you’re not going to finish it, just for the awesome writing and atmosphere. loved the description of thunder.
That said, now i'm just going to mean for a sec and pick on this one sentence (sorry!) “A wooden panel engulfed by shadow in a distant corner of the room, slid open and the woman known to the gathered men and women known simply as the Chairwoman stepped into the room.” That sentence stuck out for me as a bit awkward though. The repetition of known, for example. You could maybe chop it in half for extra suspense? “Engulfed by shadow in a distant corner of the room, a wooden panel slid open. The woman known to the gathered men and women simply as the Chairwoman stepped into the room.” Something like that?
“Little Connor Neilson wailed and grew roots, refusing to move.” Loved that line. Connor is so great, he is SO four . he seems real. jack and anthony are nicely done too and jack's mother is intriguing...:)
ok one more sentence to pick on: "a moment later face – different from the woman’s own, flickered to life then suddenly the vision passed" i get the general gist but it still feels like there's words missing?
Long first chapter - oh, well, prologue and chapter one. you could split that into chapter two as well methinks. but whatever you like :D
hey, where are all your reviews? i can't possbley be the first? do you delete them?