Believe me if you think your a bad writer you should see how I write my storys,Yikes!

I think you should write a little about who James is like how he thinks ,and see's things.

I hope to read more!

Love crazygirl101 :)

Wow...You have a really great story, but not that many reviews! I feel bad for you! But anyway... I think you should do another chapter in Jake's Point Of View. Maybe just so the reader understands how Jake is doing through all this, and how he's doing with the silent treatment and all...Just, you know, how he's dealing. Also, you have to punctuate inside ""s. LIke, Fine, good night" YOu have to add, "Fine, good night(,.)" You have to punctuate them ALL at the end. But, not that it's hard to understand or anything. Anyway, this story is really good. But yeah. It's really cute and all. The first chapter was really choppy and stuff, but after only like, 5 days, you've gotten better at writing! I congratulate you, and award you with the Wow that was really fast improving award! Hahah lol! Wel... I guess that's it, and UPDATE QUICKLY, I WANT MORE!

cute story(: ahh james is sounds too perfect to be true! haha not that there's anything wrong with that[:

i feel bad for jake tho...if i was in his place i'd hate to see the one i love getting cozy with some other person. i would ignore them too. but hey things get better in time and i hope it does for jake :]]

xoxo

XxPrincessAixX

this reminds me of twilight a lot.

But nice job.

D

.sw

so she's just barely met this guy and she's inviting him to her house?

A certain s-word comes to mind that is similar to a certain w-word which actually sounds like an h-word.

If you're serious about writing and want some constructive critism on the writing itself, message me. But nice start.

D

.sw

good chapter update soon

good story so you give us more details about soon thanks

it sounds like a cute story(: