This was a great, quick read. Totally filled my need for a good romance story.

i loved it

i got a thing about outcasts getting w/ bullys

hope your other stories are this good

That was fun and interesting. Anytime you wanna write with no draft feel free.

the entire this was great all i have to say is when you're talking about a person's muscled frame is it's build not built. loved it

I don't normally read one shots because the characters are usually underdeveloped, and the author will leave things out, not explain things fully, ya da ya da ya da. You get the idea, but with this story, you show that your characters have depth, the story is clear and people can actually understand EXACTLY what's happening. I did get a little confused when it seemed that you were switching views between Kyle and Seth...then again I did read this late last night and am now reviewing because I am awake...so that may just be me. I also like the fact that you made Kyle the top, kind of a nice little twist, but I could totally see Seth as a bottom during...

Seth cocked his head to one side, looking at Kyle's face intently, evaluating him. Even though still keeping that infuriating grin on his face all amusement left his voice as he finally spoke.

"Was that an order Kylie boy? Or was it just you begging?"

...that part right there, because along with Kyle's response the two of them seemed to give off S&M vibes...then again that could just be my pervy side kicking in...ok so this is a really long review and I'm going to stop now.

It was long but it was worth it, it was a cliche but it was excellent. The characters were realistic and very well used. I loved how you made it clear that Kyle already had an interest in Seth before the sex and that it happened gradually. And I'm only dissapointed because it was only a nipple piercing and not a Prince Albert like I expected. But anyway, I loved it. I'm gonna read more of your stories now.

hahaha this was realy good...yes lame review but i hardly ever review. especially one shots. but yea it was very well written, GOOD cliche (we all want to read good cliches, deep down), and full of angst. I liked that Kyle got beat but fought back since it was more realistic and "boy-like" behavior. it really annoys me when I read slash and they don't act masculine, even if it is bully beats up poor nerd but nerd doesn't fight back and cries his heart out but is secretly in-denial pining. Anyways, good work on the characters and writing. As I always say, the WAY a story is written (characterization, tone, style, etc) makes or breaks the story even more so than actual plot (which was "cliche" in the traditional sense). SOO, in short I was impressed by this piece of work due to your talent as a writer which made this story memorable. Haha I'm going to use this story to "convert" one of my friends into slash. Anyways, I really like the way you write and keep up the good work :)

That was AWESOME! Kyle is soo full of surprises and he was a character i could really relate to. You're a very talented writer and i really enjoyed this. Keep up the good work :)

Kudos for creative lube solutions. Lip balm - never would have thought of that...

hello there :) this is a crazy good story that deserves reviews rolling in by the millions so i felt like i should chip in too lol great one-shot. ever thought of continuing it? thatd be amazing :D keep it up!

woah! i just noticed that sad little bold lettering at the bottom and i had to help out! i've been loving this story for such a long time and i didnt review it? omg. i am ashamed. i like the way you mad it seem very realistic! that just tripped me out! i usually read anime fan-fics that, a lot of the time, don't seem real life like. you know? but this one feels more human-ee. lol. im rambling now. i should stop. there are some mistakes in here-lol, but i hardly noticed the first time i read it because the story is just that good! uh...that is all i have to say!

Hey. Ok, so it is cliche but it's sweet and I liked it. And the ending was awesome. As in the last few lines. I liked how Kyle responded and didn't tell Seth he had been in love with him for a while, rather than the whole status-quo "I love you babe" "I love you too, sweet-cheeks" or whatever, haha. As for using lip-balm as lube...well. Was it strawberry flavoured? Although lube comes in all flavours anyways. But lip-balm is so greasy...meh. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Oh! I cannot believe I forgot. I loved that Seth was bottom. Whoever wrote that stupid - granted, unwritten - prophecy that the big strong guy should be the dominant top and the smaller should be a submissive little pansy was a dipshit...am I allowed to swear? But people refuse to believe that it's not always like that. You're clever like me! But I like the story. And I think it's pretty good and doesn't need any extra tweaking unless you feel like it's absolutely neccesary because it's nice as sweet and simple. Well done and everything.

This was a very interesting story. There was a lot of believability in it. I like your writing style and the fact that your work lacks the riddling grammatical errors so often found in smexy stories. Of course, it was nice to find a story where there was so much work put into building the characters as well. _ I really liked them. That being said, it was a little strange when we could suddenly see into Seth's mind after starting out, and continuing so far in just Kyle's. I realize why you jumped into Seth's head and a lot of his character and emotions really come out through it. However, I have found that in general, unless/until proven inaccurate, a reader will generally trust a narrator's observations. That means that you can tell a lot about Seth's situation just from how Kyle sees/encounters it. So if Kyle hears Seth gasp and notes the look on his face that simply screams he's surprised with the sudden reversal of their roles, the reader will generally accept that Seth is a little freaked at suddenly finding himself in the submissive role. The other option is to give us Seth's POV along with Kyle's right away. Either way the continuity is preserved. I personally would like to see both POVs from the start one. But it's whatever you're most comfortable with.

Regardless, this was a delightful read and a super-sexy romp. I like their characters and was most pleased to find them together at the end. I would really like to know more about Seth's motivations-possibly an apology for being such an arse to start with, maybe a clear expression of his jealousy over the close relationship Kyle has with his friend, or that boy in particular (sorry, I don't remember cutie-pie's name). Excellent job. Cheers!

Awesome story!

I loved this story, and don't worry, the sex scene was great.I so did not expected Seth to bottom but Kyle was sort of a fighter...I also loved Seth's replicas during sex..a real man's man lol :)