Reviews for yesterday never e n d s
Misstress Nicole chapter 1 . 2/13/2010
The first thing that popped out at me, was before I'd even picked a poem to read. You don't used capitals. That bothers me. None of the titles where capitalized and when I opened the poem that caught me too. It doesn't look neat. I chose this poem because the title called out to me. I don't think the poem lived up to the title, but I still liked it. I like that you used some punctuation but I think you missed some, or maybe it was purposely done. I think the poem could survive without the last line, the question. I think it's implied.
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
I like the concept here. It gives teh reader a lot to think about. It's also something that everyone can relate to, and seems to target each reader personally.

I also like how your title contradicts the poem. The poem speaks of ending 'yesterday' and moving on, while the title says that it never ends. It seems to me that it's saying that even as you push them out and continue on, they're still what makes up your 'today.' Very nice message.

[was it just a sigh

you were waiting to get rid of?] I loved that line, both in the way you managed to creatively describe 'yesterday' and in the way you described a sigh itself.

My only concrit for this is that you had a lot of lines that were self-contained sentences. This made me want to pause at the end of every line, even when it wasn't called for. The rhythm came out a bit choppy.

Still, great piece. Interesting concept and a very distinct voice in your narration.
drops of rain chapter 1 . 7/10/2009
Very thoughtful. xD
Isca chapter 1 . 6/1/2009
"What was yesterday? Was it just a sigh you were waiting to get rid of?" I've had those days of quiet ache-you sigh without a reason because you don't understand why you're doing what you're doing or why you're living at all. Sometimes the past creeps up on you and you don't even realize it until your heart implodes.

"Today's all you'll ever have." Because all moments are 'now.' Brilliant. Mind-blowing. Wow.
Louis Denair chapter 1 . 5/25/2009
Yes, yes, people have a tendency to fixate themselves in the past. An example of this is the persistence of excavating the World War II theme again and again in every medium, until we are at the point where everything has been said and done but we can't let it go and go with the flow- go tomorrow. Nice open-to-interpretation piece.
oxytocin chapter 1 . 5/25/2009
I liked this; I thought it was original. Or at least, the themes (carpe diem, am I right?) weren't, but the way you expressed them was. It was conversational in tone, and I liked the contrast between the first stanza full of rhetorical questions and the second stanza of statements. My favourite line was 'another another another' - it conveys the monotony of quotidian routine. One thing I'd say about this poem is that it wasn't particularly inventive (perhaps literally just using more technical devices - and I know this sounds stuffy and contrived - like alliteration and simile and MORE IMAGERY!) and the tone almost became preaching at times, especially in the final line, 'are you who you want to be?' Using lower-case detracted from the formality of this though, so that was a good choice (IMO). Oh, and I love the use of the word 'normalcy'.
Greenery chapter 1 . 4/27/2009
This is deep. The last line is very thought provoking. I like the questions you ask. It's a very interesting poem, and i how you formatted it works very nicely.
LaFarfalla chapter 1 . 4/19/2009
A short but meanful poem. You have a lot of philosophical and deep lines that make the reader think. I think it sounds very lyrical, like a song. The last line reminds me of Switchfoot's song called 'This is your life.' It's also rather inspiring. Overall, a very interesting poem. Good job! ] ]

P.S. Also, could you tell me how you got the format so that there's a space between stanzas? Fictionpress confuses me with its formatting X_X Thanks! ]
crazyman12 chapter 1 . 4/19/2009
This is a great poem. The whole thing was just filled with thought-provoking lines. My two favorites were "was it just a sigh/ you were waiting to get rid of?" and "are you who you want to be?". They are both fantastic lines. I enjoyed the first because it is a great metaphor for yesterday. The later I loved because it's a very thought provoking question. Are we really who we want ourselves to be? Hm...

an interesting piece! congrats!

~Habs :)
Carus chapter 1 . 4/14/2009
Hiya! Here's your review from April Fool's game at the review game forum :)

First thing: I'm really really not keen on how you write your titles... I read it as 'and yesterday never ends and'. Which is confuzzling. If there was a reason for including the & and the spaces, then sure, include them. But I don't see one here or in any of the other pieces I've looked at.. :P I know that it's just my personal preference though, but I thought I'd say something anyway. Haha.

Onto the actual poem! Hehe. I really like the questions that are brought up in this poem. I love poetry that actually makes readers think :P

The first stanza was a bit generic; question, possible answer, repeat. However I thought that the second stanza really lifted the poem up above the ordinary. I love the first line of the second stanza - here the italicised words really work. The third and fourth lines in that stanza are great, just with the subtle structure of them; "yesterday" "today" "memory" "normalcy". It's like rhyme but not at the same time. I like it.

I think the last line really stands out, not just because it's set apart structurally. It's the conclusion of the poem and makes it clear to the reader what you're aiming to get them to think about.

Overall I really like this poem :) Well done.

Sorry for the ramble :P

Katie Nicole chapter 1 . 4/5/2009
Interesting, beautiful and true.

You did a nice job of asking so many deep questions in such a short poem, and I really like your metaphors, especially to think of yesterday as a sigh. It seems that's all it really is; a sigh, a memory. It's gone.

Nice work [: