|Reviews for Curtains I|
| margaretkd chapter 1 . 2/16/2011
this is really good. Could you check out my stories sometime? I could use some reviews ;)
| dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 8/8/2009
[Nobody likes to say goodbye/and I'm nobody] Nice introduction and play on words.
I don’t like the excessive use of ellipses in this. One or two would work well to add pauses and hesitation, but they loose the effect when used this much.
One typo I noticed: “that scare me a bit” I think it should be “scares.”
Nice piece as a whole, though. Not the most original images in the first two stanzas, but the last two really pick up with some interesting concepts like the magic act.
Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
Review Marathon (link in my profile)
I forgot to say in Curtains I it should be finale, not final.
"that scare me a bit..."... scares (the wild rain scares)
The magic act simile sounded really awkward to me actually. I'm not sure what you meant, but it seemed odd.
"like a sun between the clouds"... since you said the curtain, I would say the sun.
"that capture my childhood dreams"... what does this refer back to? The clouds? The sun? The curtain? It was confusing.
The piece was interesting. You setup the situation very straightforward and then switch to the more descriptive side. Nicely done.
| Lilja Ruusu chapter 1 . 4/6/2009
"Well, the curtain falls"
That line was really cool, it made me think of how people always say "set the stage for..." and then the curtain falls, like the show is over
| Erlkoenigin chapter 1 . 4/6/2009
am besten gefällt mir:
like a sun between the clouds
that capture my childhood dreams
| Isca chapter 1 . 4/5/2009
"The curtain falls like a wild rain of thunder." Stunning simile! :)