Reviews for Curtains II
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 8/8/2009
I love the concepts here. Like you said, it’s so blunt about how love really is.

I also like your use of parallel structure when discussing the two of them. The way that “life” and “guitar” are regarded on the same level is interesting. I take it one of two ways: you’re saying that his music is as important as her life, or that she lost so much more than he did from the relationship. Both are interesting, and sadly true.

I didn’t particularly like the end, though. While the sentiment was good, the wording was too straightforward for my tastes.

Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
Review Marathon (link in my profile)

I'm a tad confused, are these three pieces different sections of one piece? That seems odd since you switched the third person here. But if so, you should put them as one story with multiple chapters. If not, then I would change the titles because it's confusing.

You say met (past tense) and then knows and cares and that's (present tense).

I liked the beginning stanzas. The parallels from him and her were nice without being too repetitive. The description of their situation was nice as well.

I did not like the last stanza. I think it becomes too repetitive. Like I Don't think you need that second line. And in the last two lines you don't need to repeat true love. You could say "and those always have sad endings"
Lilja Ruusu chapter 1 . 4/6/2009
"What if they didn't meet each other?

He stopped playing guitar anyway,

his song was for her."

I liked that particular part, and also the ending, love always has a sad ending is very true.
Erlkoenigin chapter 1 . 4/6/2009
da magst du Recht haben, dass wahre Liebe selten ein happy ending hat
Chancee chapter 1 . 4/5/2009
Okay I am not normally one to review poetry but I will take a stab at this...

I think the tone is very lonesome and makes me believe the persons involved were loners that got together and enjoyed each other until the sparks of the first date were over.

If that is wrong then sorry, but it seemed like it was unfinished, that maybe there was more to be said here.

I thought the flow was good, and over all saddening.

You have this review courtesy of me...MOMO of The Promised Land Forum #3 as a happy contestant of our review game THE ORACLE CRUCIBLE!

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