Reviews for revelation
Duckies chapter 1 . 8/9/2009
I love your word choice - you had a fantastc haunting, creepy quality to the poem, and your descriptions carried some really good imagery with them.

I love how you used viscous and viciously really closely together; that was very clever, because it looked cool and rhymed at the same time. Not to mention, 'viscous' is one of my favourite words xD

I like that this was nicely structured into proper stanzas, and the rhythm that you managed to maintain, even without a particular rhyme scheme or pattern.

Fab work!

-Beatrice, from the review marathon
Kate Marshall chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
Hm. Very interesting. Your tone is what I like best in this. It hints at a lot of things that you don’t say; it sounds like kind of like thoughtful sarcasm. :)

I like your stanzas. They’re well formed and clean –simple. Your lines are wonderful, too. The words you used have a haunting quality to them that I really liked for this. Plus, the descriptions are very vivid. And just to mention it, I think in the second stanza, you used vicious/viciously almost next to each other; you probably just overlooked that. I have people tell me that all the time.

I liked the third stanza the best:

Eyes, a smiling mouth. Teeth.

From inside out the emptiness claws

and slowly takes the shape of a grotesque face

but it is only a mask: don't be afraid.

The broken-up thought between “Eyes, a smiling mouth. Teeth.” I thought sounded amazing in the poem.

And the line you used as your summary is so well written. I love the imagery in that.

Thanks for posting! I loved it. :D

-Peach, from the Review Marathon (link’s in the profile!)
Quixotic Daydreamer chapter 1 . 4/8/2009
I really liked this, It didn't really have any rhyme scheme but the words still flowed. I loved the second line...
Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 4/8/2009
well this is

a little bit

creepy, not

to mention of

dubious seasonal

collocation.

keen.