|Reviews for Bored Royalty|
| rika195 chapter 8 . 4/12/2010
Very nice. I like that you didn't rush it, but the reverie Alian was having was a little bit too much like the rest of the story to seem like a reverie. I was confused a little. I really enjoyed this though, and how you paint a picture of history and legend throughout, and how you are able to express each person's unique character so easily! I can't wait to read more. Update soon!
| rika195 chapter 7 . 4/12/2010
Wow! So exciting and engaging! I felt the cold, and the suspense the whole way through. You have a great writing style and you don't rehash the same old words or sentences, which is very hard to do. But you do it. Can't wait to read more! I am very interested in Alain and his story. Woot Jaeson!
There was one spelling type to fix: "It seemed as though the piate gave up on trying to scare the kid into giving up his family," where the word piate is probably supposed to be pirate, I think. Might want to fix that.
| rika195 chapter 6 . 4/12/2010
Hm, I wonder exactly where this will lead! You add new and interesting elements that keep it the same kind of adventure, but broaden the world and potential you have to work with. This was very good, and I can't wait to read more.
| rika195 chapter 5 . 4/12/2010
Oh yes! Very nicely done! The flow and grace with which you weave this story together is perfect! Now you are adding mystery and suspense to adventure and fantasy. Keep it up!
| rika195 chapter 4 . 6/18/2009
Nice! I love the instrument, and the song was beautifully written. You have excellent poetry. However, this chapter did not flow so well as the rest...simply because you changed tenses a couple times. For example, since the story is a narrative, you shouldn't say "there are more verses" but instead "there were more verses, but unfortunately Jaeson was unable to start singing." also...you should have ended the sentence like I just did, and made the rest into a new sentence.
So again, some grammatical errors, but those are easily fixed. The story is what's important, and this was a pleasant chapter, albeit with less flow. Good ending though. That was fun. Keep going and update soon!
| rika195 chapter 3 . 6/18/2009
This is very cute. I know you don't like that word, but it really is because the characters are very likable, and as a reader I just can't help hoping that Jaeson and Triss will fall in love and etc.
I love the flow of this story, of the word usage and the descriptions you use. It is very well thought out, and easy to read and enjoy. You put a lot of thought into this and I can tell because there's more to the story than just the surface story. There's history here, and even though we aren't reading the history, I can tell that it's there by the way that you refer to and describe everything. I love how you describe Triss' hair. It sound very cool, and very pretty. I also like how you use dialogue. It flows, and it sounds like they're talking instead of speaking written words. So to sum it all up...Nice work!
There are a few grammatical errors, such as sentences that are run-on sentences and a word missing here and there, but other than that it is very excellent. Keep up the good work, and update soon! I love it!
| rika195 chapter 2 . 6/13/2009
again, another great chapter! It was very well written. the dialogue was engaging and entertaining, the characters very likeable, the plot flowed easily, and you've established the premise of the story very well. I can't think of anything to improve this. It's already excellent. I hope to see more soon.
| rika195 chapter 1 . 6/13/2009
This is very excellently written! This visuals are easy to see, and I even felt cold as I read about them walking through snow. The characters are interesting and engaging, and the story flows well. Also, I think the length of the chapter is nice. It's not too long, but its not awfully short either. This is good, and for a first chapter, it introduces Triss and Jaeson in such a way that it makes me like them and want to hear more. You could do a lot with this story, and I really hope to see it continue.