this is good is thre no second ?

I love the story. Alester is one jolly fellow he already has all my symphaties :D Your writing is fabulous and fluent, making it easier to read.
(My first time here, Not a native speaker)

So funy! Please continue this!

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Very action-filled. I was on the edge of me seat reading the whole time, wanting to know what happened next. you are very good at keeping the auidence interested and wanted to read more. I enjoyed it very, very much!

Sammy B.

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Haha this is awesome! Alester is so badass

I enjoyed reading this. It looks like it's going to be a fun story! I like Alester's character and I'm interested to know what will happen next. Keep writing!

it wasn't that bad, but it doesn't reach to me that much. Maybe it's just not my type of writing I guess! :)

Hey! Great one shot. It was really interesting and I loved the tag line!

'“What do the Muslims call it again...ah! Insaallah!*' I loved this line!

Good Work :)

It's different to read a story with such an unredeeming main character. All turned up good for him though didn't :) Poor blond has no car, car theif has a million dollars, no justice.

It's all really neat and ties up well beginning to end with the theme of Barenaked Ladies.

Cool little one shot!

Would like to ask you to read my one shot, Unforgiving Love, you like slash apparently so I'd love to know what you think :)

Heyy :)

Thanks so much for your review! I meant to return it, and then I forgot But that's okay, I'm here now!

Your story was pretty good! It was descriptive, and slightly dramatic, but not to the point of melodrama. Great one-shot! :)

ranDUMM

I like it!

Very interesting attention-grabber. Why do I keep seeing "the blond"? LOL, I just had to make that inquiry. Anyway, you did a very good job, it flows, too. I am curious about the wooden box and that piece of paper. Well done on that scene with Alester chasing the piece paper and when he finally gets it, it is a million dollar check. By the way, I could picture everything you described. Now, I am sitting here, in my bed, wondering... who is "the blond"? What is his role in the story? What's the wooden box all about, in addition to that mysterious piece of paper?

Your fictionpress friend,

Ari (a.k.a. r7gray)

LOL's. Your so funny. I love your dad's reply... "It'll be even funnier if you make him a Muslim."

Wow, this is a really interesting idea for a story. I hope you continue it.

I loved all of your literary allusions, especially the Oedipus one. The chase scene was also pretty intense. And the ending-woah. Nice work!