|Reviews for Mother Earth: My Heart is Gone|
| Kirby Alexis chapter 5 . 5/10/2009
This is different I do say that. The characters and the writing, not from your typical style (I have read but one other piece by you, my knowledge is limited)rather the style one finds on this site. The writing to me feels elevated which is something that happens in the mind of the reader as they read a script. The thing I have noticed among FP playwrights is that they seem to dictate every little thing as if they were writing a novel, or doing the staging for the production themselves. In playwrighting, you leave a lot of the action out unless it is positively crucial to the scene. Also, a scene would be one setting, one moment, one interaction. A chapter would not be a scene, rather an act if you wanted to get technical. I do enjoy reading this, and I shall continue. I just thought I would bring those things to your attention.
| FieryArtemis chapter 5 . 4/22/2009
Very cute. It has a lot of potential. I think if you were to flesh out your characters it would make it even better. I thought that the fact that Ena was an Elf should have been in her character description. Also, you seem to leave off in some funny places. All and all though, I think it has the makings to be a good story. Please continue. And don't be discouraged when people don't review. It doesn't mean that they don't read and they don't like.
| Take Another Look chapter 3 . 4/16/2009
Hey! This is awesome. I think it's always really fun taking on styles/new projects that I usually don't write in. (like writing a script.) Great job!
Just a couple tips (learned most of this from my acting class):
It makes a big difference if it's a movie script or a theater script. For a theater script you need to think about how possible scene changes are and how often they happen. If scene changes happen often it will be very very hard to stage. You also might include more concise stage directions w/stage right, left, upstage, downstage, etc. Btw, sorry if I'm being too picky and stuff. I know it can be annoying when people give you all these tips on something you're just doing for fun. You can just skip the whole tip section if that's the case.
In scripts scenes are divided into little sections called beats. These are sections that have a specific objective for a character. When the person changes what they're aiming for, what they want, or the way they're trying to get it it's a beat change.
In most professionally written plays each line has a specific reason it's there. After finishing writing a scene read through it and find any lines that aren't important. (I know the whole each line is important thing is really annoying.) Btw, of course this isn't a fast rule or anything. However, theater is supposed to be a condensed version of real life, leaving out all the watery 'umms, likes, etc' unless they have specific meaning and having only the pure, important stuff.
Remember that if this is ever staged (and I'd suggest thinking this way since that is the ultimate goal of theater pieces) that each actor portrays each person differently. Unless you give specific info about a character it will be whatever the actor makes it into (personally I don't think this is a bad thing.) These actors build their picture of the character around what the character says, does, and what is said about them. Their "I" is basically made up of the previously said things. Give the actors what you feel is necessary or beneficent and leave the rest for them to decide. It's one of the things that makes seeing the same piece performed again and again interesting each time.
So ya, sorry if that was way too much... It was a really long review. Great start! You don't need to take any of the tips I said unless you want to and none of them were supposed to be mean/offending. Sorry if they came out that way.
| WaylanderX chapter 3 . 4/16/2009
| strobeXlightXstatic chapter 2 . 4/14/2009
I love the spelling of Aarik's name! When I read this, I was speaking Ena's part out loud in a British accent... weird a bit? Any-who, I love how this is going. You are a very creative (&& slightly bored) person. && I mean that with the best intentions.