|Reviews for Beloved|
| Junuen Lisunia chapter 1 . 10/26/2012
Aawwwww! I lived it! Great job!
| Afan chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
You could indeed flush this out cos the story is intriguing, and the characters are easy to get into. Very interesting storyline and vast potential for a multi-chapter series. Hope you consider it.
| Happily Ever After All chapter 1 . 2/9/2011
I love this story!
| bart4nat chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
This was really good. I kind have wanted Richard to be sick longer at the end or the confrontation between Ken and Orson to last longer but I was still sad when it ended T.T
| Cari Marie chapter 1 . 10/25/2009
O! Very interesting! So Ken must be the God of the mountain. Very intriguing! I really like how Richard pined for him. It was cute. I was confused over why Richard was always so hungry... But whatever. Kudos for a great story!
May inspiration and free time flow,
| gypsy madamme chapter 1 . 4/29/2009
very nice. i like the dreamlike quality to it, and how it's open to interprtation
| FanoraJane chapter 1 . 4/24/2009
| izabellizima chapter 1 . 4/16/2009
"As he stood, back pressed against of the trees" omiting 'of' would make it a less akward sentence. Would the word trees go from plural to singular?
"There were a lot worse things then death" 'than' is the comparative while 'then' refers to time. comb the remainder for similar grammatical missteps.
if you dont make it a distinct point to tell your audience what the lead looks like, sneak it in. try to fill in smells, and for god's sake what time of day is it when the story opens? i can't quite tell the time period either because the language is modern but the characters seem to live in the middle ages. is this deliberate?
you will hear more from me as i read on...i'm but 1/10th of the way in to your story. feel free to review my short, Leveling. its a good way top aveneg yourself for all the con crit I dish out.
| Ally chapter 1 . 4/16/2009
Very nice story with a good composition. I have a couple of questions though: Is there a reason for Richard's nightmares? What is the true story of the woods and the house and Ken - why can't Richard find the house on his own?
Keep on writing good stories for me to read!