|Reviews for When it Comes to Love|
| Lilchany chapter 1 . 5/12/2010
I liked how you switched around the roles. It was a refreshing change! This is a really great poem!
| cheleigh chapter 1 . 5/29/2009
i think the way you repeated lines in the poem really helped with the fluidity, and i love how you switched the "standard" roles of knight and princess. happy writing.
| Lullaby Street chapter 1 . 5/22/2009
I am not about to pretend that I have anything much more than a few praises here and there. So here it goes..
How poetic to use the clichéd knight in armor metaphor and twist the story around. I believe any girl that reads this would be instantly perplexed at this, though very much pleased, for it to come from a guy is, well, the least bit unexpected.
The whole poem is lovely, with all the words used to show the feelings this knight has never felt and to explain his wishes. It was very well written, though I did find something you could fix. When you say in the second stanza “A night in armor with virgin lips,” well, should it not be knight instead of night? Just wanted to point that out.
The dulled armor and for her to melt his armor away for it weighs him down, I loved those stanzas very much indeed. The “afraid to be vulnerable, and thus caged in armor” bit was most definitely my favorite.
Hmm..this is getting sort of long, I know, but with me rambles are common. So, in short, I was rather pleased by it but did not fully feel as if he, the knight, were talking to me personally, nor was I able to feel his emotions. But it was still lovely. Please take no offense from my words, just being honest.
Have a lovely day.
p.s. can you please let me know if I am allowed to read your story yet? Thank you.