Reviews for Falling
sonder this chapter 14 . 4/28/2016
And yet still there are a few questions I'm left with. I thought this chapter would reveal it but why was Brad so in-like with Janelle? I understood that his obsession with her is in part to contribute to the suspenseful factor but taking that out of the context, his fixation on her was just, as Janelle had mentioned it multiple times already, plain strange. At first, I thought he had taken notice of her in school before and watched from afar or something so that's how he eventually came to like her but it seems like there's no history as to why he likes her so much and it makes the romance feel flimsy and unfathomable. I'm just glad that Janelle didn't fall over every time for the sake of her self-preservation but one thing that did bother me was how she seemed more fixated on his looks than his personality. Sure, she mentioned how nice he was but her thoughts seemed to revolve more around how hot he is and even when she believed him to be a killer, that thought always persisted. This kind of attraction just makes her magnetism towards him appear more shallow than anything depth-worthy.

You managed to avoid having any plot holes, which is quite a feat when writing a mystery, but there were several things I have to ask about. How did Janelle know where Brad lived if she's never been there before and he never mentioned it? And Ryan keeps saying how he thinks Janelle and Brad fit well together but at what point in the story did he see this "fitting well together" between them? Lastly, why /did/ Brad despise Ryan so much? At first it's revealed that part of it is due to how he thought Ryan was an obstacle between him and Janelle but then later, he yelled at Ryan about how he's always been in his way ever since he was dating his sister. So what was that about?

Now my final question is if you-know-who had been lying this long about who she really was since the day she met Janelle then wouldn't it be more realistic to say that Janelle missed more of the person who had never really existed to begin with? Which was why for me, I thought it odd for Janelle and Ryan to miss her even if they had considered her as one of their close friends, it was a "close" friend who had never truly been that close to them at all. I think the more plausible reaction, instead of missing her (or at least mention "who" they were truly missing), would to be overwhelmed by the realization that they had been getting to know a facade this whole time.
Sarsaparilla chapter 14 . 3/26/2010
o, you totally had me there. even though lily was on my list of three most-likely suspects, I started inwardly cheering excitedly when there was the "guy in the hoodie" who was "Brad." Except, you know, it turned out to be Lily...wow. I'm definitely going to re-read this story in hopes of catching some of those double meanings...

it's so well-written and very believable. except one part in the last chapter - where it was a little too movie-like, what with Brad suffering from a chest wound while Janelle and Ryan were feeling sad for a while after Lily jumped off the cliff. in real life I hope they'll get to their sense a little sooner than that.

I have to say that I LOVED this story - I've raed it over a course of three days - and I was positively, extremely, ineffably excited to wait to read this last chapetr. great, awesome, fatastical job.

-love,

hersa (on lj)
Sarsaparilla chapter 13 . 3/26/2010
You didn't just let a friendship like that die over some stupid, albeit possibly homicidal, boy.

- Wow, I love that line.

Anyway, um, my suspects are: Brad, for being the connection, Lily, for being jealous of the other girls, or John, who is just plain shady.
Sarsaparilla chapter 12 . 3/26/2010
Oh noes, I have a bad feeling about this. I think Lily's going to die :(
A Definite Maybe chapter 14 . 2/11/2010
loved it :)Though i kinda suspected it was Lily from about halft way through... with that in mind, i was looking out for clues that could point to her and i thought that the forshadowning was done really, really well, so good job!
Random Hero Fan chapter 14 . 11/29/2009
Except, you know, my body." ~ Oh, no. I think I seriously laughed for five minutes. I was all feeling depressed and sad and relieved, and then that. heehee!

It's weird . . . Sometime, and I don't know when, I started to think things were a little off (just like, apparently, Ryan). I think because I read chapters in chunks, instead of one at a time. I never came right out and said to myself, THAT'S who it was! but, I wasn't floored at the ending. I think that's actually a good thing. Nobody likes getting run over by a truck at an ending that had nothing to set it up.

And can I be happy that my favorite best friend is still one of the good guys? hee

Another excellent story. I'm going to sit here and swoon for a few minutes, thank you. LOL
Random Hero Fan chapter 13 . 11/29/2009
Ah, what can I say? This was an excellent chapter.

And since, hahaha, the next chapter is already ready, that's all I'm saying here! HA!
Random Hero Fan chapter 12 . 11/29/2009
Wow. Even after having not read this since (when was it? June?), it was really easy to slip right back into the story and greet the characters like old friends. They're really memorable. I'm impressed!

[other than not by choice.] ~ This had to be the best-ever sum-up. LOL

Jeez. I felt really bad for Brad there in the first scene, killer or no. I wanted to tell him to go hang out with some guys for a while, since the girls are all freaked out beyond niceties. Duh. ;)

This was an all about Brad chapter, wasn't it? Holy shla-moly, what a glutton for punishment! I'm as confused as Janelle, but in a good way (because I just couldn't stop reading long enough to think of comments, lol).

Oh, there was one thing. Did you describe Jamie? It confused me when Janelle mentioned an Asian girl ('cause I kind of have it in my head that Lily is Asian . . .).

And, wow again. I was kind of hoping Lily wouldn't ever need to know . . . !

Off to the next chapter. :D
caitXvm chapter 1 . 10/4/2009
So far, ths sounds really good.

I'm not so sure about Brad, but whatever it's only the first chapter.

I know you probably have no idea what this is, but lily kind of reminds me of Lily from Veronica Mars. Haha You've most likely never seen that show, but it's amazing and it makes me like Lily a bit more.

I think the only huge difference about them so far is that Lily in Veronica Mars is dead... lol. But i'm sure there will be more as i keep reading. Off to chapter 2 :)

-Cait
SassyGrl chapter 14 . 9/18/2009
I didn't see that comin! Nice job! Can't wait for the Enforcers 8D!
renegade01 chapter 14 . 9/18/2009
holy... Lily? definately unexpected. thats the trouble with guessing who the perpetrator is - you never suspect women.

erm, at first I was thinking that throughout the story not enough was pointed to Lily as the murderer. i mean, we didn't even suspect her. but then the way Ryan figured it out made it a bit more believable. making Lily drug herself was a good one.

i wish there was more at the end between Janelle and Brad. nicely done though, babe. ;)
Notherenowseeya chapter 14 . 9/16/2009
Holy CRAP! I never would have guessed...I refuse to give spoilers...but wow. you did an excellent job of setting it up! (I knew it wasn't that person from the start! HA!) And I LOVE the ending! :D It's so fitting! All I wanna know is...how'd she get the gun? Were they at his or her house? This story was an awesome read! I love it to tears!
Dead Deactivated chapter 14 . 9/16/2009
JEEZ ! LILY was the killer! did you know from the beggining that it was going to be her?
renegade01 chapter 13 . 9/10/2009
Argh...awesome!

I think this is your best chapter so far for this story. At times, the suspense was real and had you hooked- particularly towards the end (you, evil you ;). Yeah, it was a good place to end, grudgingly.

My bet's still on Ryan...
SassyGrl chapter 13 . 9/1/2009
Did Janelle honestly think it was Brad at the end? How could she since she saw him move to the stores! Here's what I think will happen: she dialed Brad's number. He hears her pleas and sobs. He heads towards the parking garage where he finally sees its RYAN who's the killer! He either confronts him head on or he follows them if he's too late! Am I right? Anyway, I think it's so totally RYAN! The clues all point to him! Update realsoon if you can!
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