|Reviews for Disaster Theorem For The RibcageDomino|
| Isca chapter 1 . 4/21/2009
"The bone-swing of yesterday." Brilliant use of kenning. I love that 'bone-swing' characterizes 'time.'
"Howling a bone-rag manifesto on the consequence of naivety." An innocent, who feels guilty, thinks of dead belief systems in order to make them think of the consequences? Mind-blowing point.
"Curious as to how I unzipped my skin." I dare not touch this line-it's too perfect.
"We biohacked our collective remains into a leviathan of irreverent anatomy." Oh, the word 'leviathan' just made this line ten times more powerful-nice!
"Zephyr-breath limbs." Incredible! The ending of this poem was particularly well-written.
You've definitely showed off your high-diction-level and talent in this poem. Excellent work. :)
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 4/21/2009
Yeah, this is definitely too dense for me. Haha. I just find myself getting bogged down in all the . . . words. I love them, I do, but it's hard to get around them. I think it would probably be better to just focus on one or two things. Because it is beautifully written, just very hard to comprehend. Keep writing! :)