Reviews for 1914
Narq chapter 1 . 6/13/2009
I like the meaning of this poem. It is the formatting that makes me wonder though. Why did you put it two lines togeth when in fact it breaks the flow of some words. Is it on purpose? I think so. But the purpose is not clear.

Normally when a poet breaks away and forms a new stanza it is to make the reader pay attention. You've overused it, I fear, and the formatting dimms the reader's enthusiasism.

I liked this though

narq.
Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 4/28/2009
This has an interesting gender dynamic in it that is representative of the historical context so accurately. What does one think of when it comes to war? Especially during a time period where distant shores were much more foreign, and the overall perception of fighting for ones country was different in certain ways than it is looked at today. I like how you've used the duality of perspective, and gender roles to heighten the intrigue of how it was seen at the time. Very thought provoking. MD:77.
Tjikicew chapter 1 . 4/27/2009
It was said it was the war to end wars.

How wrong one can be.

It's a very strong poem!

Thank you!
Isca chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
"But they will swivel their bodies into the crooked channels, and trenches. They will emerge with dirt smeared over their eyes, and blood on their cheeks. They will fight and die." Oh wow! You began with courtly imagery and then made this profound, honest shift to describing te violence and horrors of war. And yet, somehow, you still managed to evoke pity and sorrow from the reader, and even make the soldiers appear brave and honourable. Great work! :)
MatthewPaul chapter 1 . 4/24/2009
"...They will

emerge with dirt smeared over

their eyes, and blood on their cheeks.

They will fight, and die,

while the curious women they left

behind will only be left to wonder."

I love this, since it wouldn't happen with war anymore - not to the same extent. People are still finding things out about the World Wars (Like the mass grave-digging picture that surfaced a couple of days ago) but now war is kind of broadcast.

I like the language a lot, as well. One thing I'm confused about is the actual structure, though. It kind of seems like the enjambment is there just to make sure no individual line stretches out further than another. If there was a deeper purpose or a specific meter, I couldn't find it. But that's only a small problem that I have with a very nice poem.
Lady Fingers chapter 1 . 4/24/2009
"War is heroism, soft kisses,

and half dragged cigarettes

thick with sweet tobacco"

this stanza really gives the piece a differet take on war. most people think about the killings, and they count the casualties...

this makes war seem quiet.
Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 4/23/2009
sad, but not as

strangely sad as

the last review.
amavian chapter 1 . 4/23/2009
i don't get it, honestly. sorry.