|Reviews for Greater Whitefronted Goose|
| Erlkoenigin chapter 1 . 5/18/2009
this Kah-lah-aluck is weird! Keep on writing about birds!
| Chasing Skylines chapter 4 . 4/25/2009
While you'd think "show, not tell" applies to only stories, it's also to any form of writing. I think instead of telling that the snow goose is interesting, or it's beautiful, you should show it. And you do. You could either replace those lines so they show, or remove them, I guess.
[With a white and blue morphs,]
Incorrect subject-verb agreement. Either "With a white and blue morph," or "With white and blue morphs."
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| Chasing Skylines chapter 3 . 4/25/2009
I'm sort of confused on your punctuation. Like, this is apparently a sentence: "I can see how you got your name, a very cute name indeed, you are small species of goose, even smaller than the bean goose."
[You are small species of goose,]
Missing an "a" after "are."
I think you're overusing the word "cute."
| Chasing Skylines chapter 2 . 4/25/2009
[You call is weird too,]
Should be "your."
Something I thought could be improved: maybe you could wander from just mere physical descriptions? Like, if each of these ducks were human beings, people aren't them just because they're cute, have a skinny body, big lips and long legs, and their call is "Shut up!" or something.
| Chasing Skylines chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
Interesting concept for a collection of poems! I like it because it's a nice way to learn about birds.
[With the cutest orange legs,
You paddle around
With a white band near your
Why was "pink bill" a separate line? For emphasis or the like? Because if it things were meant to go consistently, then "orange legs" would be a different line too.
I liked the imagery of this. I could picture the bird, and then I liked how you included sound as well.
I think there could've been a more creative way for the last line. "You're very beautiful" is pretty straightforward and telling.
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