A Thing

I hate labels.

I love my freinds.

I dont care about my family.

I dont understand the term 'Daughter',how he can say things like that infront of people and then the next minute when were in a staroe yell at me for being a girl.

And then when I burp with my freinds tell me not to be stupid and act like a women.

And how when he tells me to leave say something midway-and when I ask 'what?' yell at me for turning my back and leaving.

I Love my mother.

Sexually abused when she was little shes strong.

Though I hate her mental illness.

Scysowhatsa-I dont know what its called-all I know is that my mother has to take pills to keep from hearing voices aand hitting me.

I hate her because shes stubborn and she ties my father down.

I love my father because hes my dad.

And theres no way to change that.

I love my brother because he is.

I hate the way he tries to ignore the fact that hes black.

And that he yells at my mother for being black.

I hate the way he forgets hes latino.

And how he tries to act 'white' because we no longer live in the ghetto.

I love my sister because she is,and Ive practiccly raised her.

I hate the way they babby her,and make her feel special,but when me and my brother were that age-we went through hell.

I love my freinds because I can talk.

And they make me forget.

I hate that im so fucking dependante.

And i hate this town because The chances of me ever DOING something i love is so fucking small.

Star

Everyone says Im passive when it comes to LIKING ,clothes,I even dont care what you(THEY) put on my wall.

No,when it comes to issues like respect or music or standing up for myself im passionate and fuking full of life.

But the other half is detached,not caring,cold but somehow daydreamy.

I dont understand how people can look at me and think things like this.

How they can put me into a THING,not a person,a thing.

Though in hindsight afterwards,I understand I do the same,I can say things like this about people I dont even count as my freinds.

"Shes a whore because no one was their to teach her selfrespect."

"He doesnt know how to show a girl respect because he never had a mother."

"Shes cool and detached because shes seen things.'

"Shes a faker,because everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie to be one of us,even though she has a perfect life."

But only few people know one thing about me.

Very few.

I hate stars.

No not Movie stars,because its my dream,my absolute goal to become something of an icon(after I loose the 30 pounds after vommiting and starving myself).

The stars in the sky.

Just because I know there are NO things as whishes.

You have to make it happen.

Because sometimes you dont want to be an object.

Because these things collapse and explode intothemselves.

You want to be a person.

We can send in entries,cool.

Its alright if you guys dont do this one I'll understand.

If I Never See Your Face Again

If theres one thing Im positive im going to do is this.

Ge the fuck out of here.

Anyway I can,and yes DEAR father I DO understand that the chance of me EVER getting into a movie role is small.

I think the reason I want to get out of here is because I dont really have anything.

Yes,I have my dear companions that support me and make me smile,and laugh,and if anything make my days here berable and make the wait worth it.

But I know I can do so much more,I dont want to sit behind a desk like you and be told to count how much we sold today.

I want to be in movies,to make someones else days enjoyable.

So I dont really care if I ever see you again.

Hope to see you soon.

Shooting Star has to be my favorite!

Hey! I don't know if you're (the author of One in a Hundred) reading this,

But I just wanted to tell you know that what you're feeling, I kind of went through the same thing.

I had something wrong with me and I had to wait a long time to find out the results.

It's the scariest thing in the world.

But it turned out good, and so I want you to know it doesn't have to be the worst possible outcome.

You could be like me, and be worried for nothing.

But if you ever want to talk, you could PM me!

I'd love to hear from you :)

May I suggest a good bake sale? Or a spaghetti dinner? My church has done both and they've made a thousand off them. But it was usually for charity...just an idea though. Poor person...it sucks having a disease.

I did that. I loved Post-secondary so much! But I wished I could have started that sooner...waiting for junior year of high school is lame and I could've gotten so many more credit hours for free. Can't wait for more!

Get a P.O. box and accept donations. Lol. I have a pretty good chance at getting a job this summer and would love to see everyone's hard work pay off.

Fourteen and in college? That is pretty amazing. So long as you take it easy when necessary.

I just want to say congrats on the nomination. You deserve it! As always, very good pieces. :-)

wow...i love this story...one of the best stories ever!

Haven't stopped to say how much I love this idea. Totally awesome and unique and true and real. So great. Oh and congrats on the nomination for SKOW :)

Congratulations!

Behind Locked Minds has been nominated for the Best Non-Romance Award at the Some Kind of Wonderful (SKoW) Awards.

Best of luck,

Rose

Judge, Most Creative Plot; Best Non-Romance, SKoW Awards

skow./

Cool. This probably should be published, it'd get an award. I'm going to try an entry, even if it will be an epic fail.

Life

Surrounded by thin girls at school and if I see another girl that's over weight its...woah, glad I'm not them. I'm obese by the government's standards. Amazingly, I'm not that self-concious about it, at least not until this year. To graduate, I need one more gym credit. After the tortures of scheduling I've gotten the gym I've wanted. Bring a binder! Keep your packets! What happened to running around the gym and doing excersies? A few days of kickball the teachers decide to have us take a health test. My blood pressure's a bit high, stupid coffee. Next is the weight and height. I thought I was taller. People have told me I've lost weight. Doesn't look like it. Body fat scanner. Oh my God! My teacher's nice, I've had him before. He knows my family and he's a good friend. He tries to make it sound okay. Its not.

I walk my dog two to three tmes a day for fourty-five minutes. I hardly eat anything. I'm near vegan. Fast food is foregin to me. Why am I so fat? I usually don't care but now its starting to bother me. I don't like make-up. I hate hair products. Why id it starting to bother me? I am alone. Is it because I'm fat I can't get a guy? Do I have too many guy friends? I wonder about Prom. Who am I going to take? Post-secndary? College courses are tough but nothing I can' handle. Do I do too much? Am I too much of nerd? Why do I care any more?

I am a polycystic ovarian disease victim. Its genetic. Its causes excessive weight, extra hair, and cysts. It also won't letme have children. I have to keep my weight down to keep large cysts off. I do the best I can. Dad's always telling me to do more. Running isn't my thing, I have no endurance. I like it but I can't do it for long distances. I'm busy too. College, high school, orchestra, church band, church choir, youth group. I need a life!

Life. I hate it. I love it. So the cycle goes.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D

A lot of people are scared of the future

and of failing.

It does suck that you have to give up your

dreams, though. All because of medical

problems that you really couldn't have

prevented (unfortunately).

But, now that you've found something else

you'd like to do, you can focus on that.

Just try not to worry about the future too

much.

As for your ex. If you really feel like you

need him, maybe you should try talking to

him (if you haven't already). Ask him why

he stopped talking to you so abruptly. Try

to become friends with him again.

I wish you the best of luck with your

surgery, by the way.

I thought this was a very powerful piece, because it was something I could relate to. A lot of the things this entry described, describes the way I often felt when I was a teenager.

-Counting Petals