|Reviews for Justin, while sitting at the Architects Table|
| Julius Gillian chapter 1 . 5/5/2009
Oh yeah, I recall reading this already. I think you changed some things, I liked how you capitalized Faith and am glad you didn't pull an Emily Dickson just Capitalizing anywhere That you Pleased.
Your Justin seems to be your favorite muse, there's something so esoteric, comfortable, and intimate about this guy that you keep reaching for and it glows in your poetry. You've also been talking about him for a long while now. I mean, my rate of exchanges with girls I have hopeless crushes on last relatively over a year, but then I move. So you're one up on me in that respect haha.
I always thought Justin was fighting back in this piece, the image you fixated here seems to be a pensive Justin tempered with a kind of irritable attitude. It seems like you were gladly tip-toeing around him while speaking to him. I say this because I noticed he's not saying much throughout the entire piece, and it’s not because of the preponderance of your stream of consciousness either. He just seems like your average guy that thinks more than speaks, you can always say I don’t know him, but that’s anyone’s guess (who doesn’t live around or with him).
But I like this piece, you use Justin as your muse like a comfortable pair of slippers.
| Isca chapter 1 . 5/3/2009
There's such a sense of angst and helplessness in the speaker's tonality-it makes me wonder if, at the end of this section, the speaker wishes she were Justin's girlfriend, and not Jerrica or even Faith's daughter. Keep writing. :)
| alkfhdakjd1 chapter 1 . 5/3/2009
I enjoyed this, your style is definitely your own and I like the way you write. And for a short piece, it had a lot of underlying emotion, and a lot of story - there was a lot that you conveyed without actually saying it, which I liked.
The only thing I feel I should point out is that usually, after a line of dialogue said by one person, if you start describing a different person's thoughts/actions, you should make a new paragraph.
i.e. "He says: 'Faith's mom!'
I try and picture..."
Otherwise, I liked it.
| Indicates chapter 1 . 5/3/2009
This is pretty good. Not bad at all, although the title is a bit 'meh'.