|Reviews for Sunrise|
| BlackTreaderWolf chapter 86 . 5/15/2013
Great chapter! I've been looking forward to your updates and you never disappoint. Laura is one of my favorite characters and I hope Arthur inherits more of her powers!
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 86 . 4/28/2013
Heh, I think I'm more surprised I managed to get through this chapter than the fact that you *finally* updated. ;P It's been too long since I've read a chapter this long, but gawd, I was clinging to every word by the end.
Any chance you could include a brief recap next chapter? lol Time is my brain's enemy so I don't remember a lot of stuff that happened. ._.
[predator was something unnatural had to be taught to kneel before its betters.] This sentence reads awkwardly.
["I would find a spare body for them to use without hesitation. Because you are Arthur's mother, and I will not allow anything to happen to you.] As does this one, but I think it would flow better if you just combined the two sentences.
Loved this. Even after being away for a while, I fell right back into Fen's character and that was awesome. I hope Laura doesn't die, though. There really is no mercy for these characters. xD
Her back story was really cool, though. I think it accurately explains her personality traits and why she's so brave. I liked how she recalled Alistair's memory, thinking of both the good and bad times. Curious that he would tell her to avoid other azka's though. I wonder if there was real warning in his words, or just some deep seated paranoia.
Anyway, glad to see you updating this story again. :D Can't wait for the next chapter!
| BlackTreaderWolf chapter 85 . 1/12/2013
Great chapter I can't wait for the next one! As always the chapter was beyond what I expected!
| BlackTreaderWolf chapter 84 . 1/12/2013
Laura is telekinetic now!? You have made my night and I can't wait to see if Arthur gets any other powers close to his mom's.
| BlackTreaderWolf chapter 35 . 1/12/2013
Haha my 20th time reading this Beast King! Please finish it! This chapter gets better every time I read it because I can see Arthur on the path of insanity. I hope you get to finish this story I love it
| ChaosBan3 chapter 84 . 11/9/2012
Whoop whoop, youre back!
Keep on typing, want to know how this story ends:p
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 85 . 11/2/2012
Gonna point out these mistakes before I forget where they are. xD
[From the moment I had understood secret behind his uncanny evasion my blows during our brief fight,] I think you're missing the words "the" and "of".
["What are you doing?" the demand was out of my mouth] "the" should be capitalized.
Okay, content-wise... AUGH FEN WHY?1!? Why didn't she just kill him akjeoeiengmengl! XD Man, that makes me so angry. I just knew he was going to stab her once she let herself go off fantasizing. I could see it. Ugh. I was really about to start partying when she went for his throat. I thought she would just crush his windpipe and be done with it. le sigh.
I'll admit, though, that I was getting into Fen's fantasy about all the children being hers. I could see her being an evil Queen while all her beautiful, assassin children lounged around her like cats. o:
If only she had killed him when she had the chance. *shakes head*
It was very interesting to watch her inner struggle and just a great change of character for her, though. Even as she commits herself to Arthur and saving the world, she's still a vampire. She wants to live as one, superior and fear inspiring.
I really can't say that Arthur's side is the good side, considering... ._. But I am starting to warm up to Fen and her ways. Again, I have no idea who to trust in this story anymore. xD It's almost like politics, haha!
Also, lolwhut, you had to shorten this chapter? xD Obscenely long, what? I kid. :P I enjoy the length of your chapters, they're so engaging! :D I loved it, great work. Glad to see an update from you. :)
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 84 . 9/9/2012
Oh, I've been without Fen's voice for so long! I've been without this story for a while, too. It is good to be back here, though.
The abilities generated from the Beck family is really surprising. Telekinesis! This will certainly be useful, supposing Laura survives this fight. I actually forget where Arthur is at this exact moment. I wonder if he'll be able to use the same type of attack as his powers grow stronger.
I'm always impressed with the fight scenes. They're so engaging... I'm jealous, haha! XD
Roland seems to be one of the few characters who isn't completely batshit insane. I mean, sure, he's still pretty power hungry and all that, but he's not so violently crazy that he's just slaughtering hundreds left and right. I don't know what I think of him currently. He's certainly still a villain, but I can't tell if he's one of the greater evils right now.
Maybe he's more dangerous cause he's closer to being sane?
I was kind of hoping Fen would have lopped off his head when she had the chance, though. :\ Curse her bloodlust!
Some things I'm just going to point out. These are tips I picked up in your absence from other writers and other stories.
Your style of writing is very descriptive, and detailed. I've never had a problem with that, however, some of the words you use seem a bit unnecessary.
For example, the way Roland's eyes are continuously described as being blue. Two or three times is great, but nine times is really pushing it. I don't think you could mention that his eyes are blue any more times for me, the reader, to get it. His eyes are blue!
Now this one may actually just be because it is from Fen's point of view, but "the human" was used a lot in place of "Roland" or "he". I can understand if it's because of Fen and she's not going to give any human the dignity of calling them by name, but in any other instance, if only to prove humanity (or at least keep things consistent), it's better to use the characters name or a pronoun.
[As if in a dream I saw the faint silver blur of a semiautomatic pistol fly off into the shadows with a clatter as clips of ammunition bounced and jangled as they hit the concrete] In this particular sentence you use the word "as" three times.
I'm a pretty big fan of the word "as" myself, but I find it makes reading awkward sometimes. I can only suggest to watch how much you use it.
[And I suddenly wanted to lash out and seized one of those eyes] This sentence just has a word out of tense so I thought I should point it out.
All in all, I'm really glad to see an update from you. :D I've really missed these characters, they're so fun. See you on the next update, eh? ;D
| Princess of Promise chapter 83 . 6/2/2012
A million words. How do you write so much? *pulls out surprised face*
I just spent half the day trying to finish this story, I only got as far as chapter 5 *pulls out lol-ing face*. This. Story. Is. F-ing. AWESOME.
| Muffy the Dough Slayer chapter 1 . 3/19/2012
I have yet to read this series yet, other than the first chapter of Moon Rising so far, but I must go ahead and congratulate you on this...you have reached how many words? XD A million? You must not be human O.O or must be the greatest author ever XD You had a dream and you're fulfilling it on the last book in a trilogy ;) And though I haven't read it all yet, I must go ahead and say that I expect great things from 'Beast King'. Well done.
| Allerum chapter 83 . 2/17/2012
I really enjoyed this story. I a look forward to the continuation of this.
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 83 . 9/4/2011
The voice of Fen in the beginning of this chapter was really different, almost animalistic, I guess. I don't know how to describe it, really. It was like, single minded determination... I kind of felt like I was still reading Arthur's POV for how straight forward it was.
Not that that's a bad thing, though! It really showcases how she's taking all this mentally. Then, as the chapter progressed, it did slip back into regular Fen voice, so it was sort of a "coming back to herself" thing.
The little horror show Fen had going through her head with the lycans destroying everything was very well written. I had to re-read a couple of times to make sure that wasn't really happening right in front of her. XD
Heh, I had almost forgotten about how all this fighting started, with Alan and all that jazz. I wonder if the lycans remember... Especially with these new pups coming into the war, they probably have no idea why they're fighting. Aah, but isn't that the bane of all wars? Eventually we forgot what it was that started the whole thing.
Roland is so cunning. I definitely don't like him, but I must admire his deviousness. He's quite the fox.
I wish Fen would have killed him though. :
Not sure how Laura is going to stack up in a fight against him, but if there's one thing about the Beck's, it's that they'll fight til their last drop of blood. xD And usually win, haha!
Well, I'm with Fen on this one, I wonder what Laura's power will be. o:
| BlackTreaderWolf chapter 83 . 9/2/2011
Very good story
| BlackTreaderWolf chapter 82 . 8/26/2011
Loved the chapter and found it interesting how the predator became the prey to Aurthor
| BlackTreaderWolf chapter 81 . 8/26/2011
Very good chapter and it only gets better