|Reviews for Sunrise|
| Dagonmaster chapter 6 . 5/19/2009
I've just finished reading both chapters 5 and 6 and I have to say there excellent. Lucas Beck's story was particularly interesting for you really delve into what he's been doing since Arthur's disappearance and how its affected him. In chapter 6 I liked how you gave insight to Adam's past with his lover Charlotte and it changed him into who he is today.
Overall, your doing a good job and can't wait to see more.
P.S: I've just finished uploading chapters 3 and 4 so check them out.
| Jarvis 51 chapter 6 . 5/18/2009
At one time I might have pittied Adam, but for someone to stay broken and torn up by loss for that amount of time is truely pathetic. Oh it would be such a wonderfully satifying irony if Arthur denied him death after he defeated Adam.
the usual goes for all the vampires: Just go die somewhere.
for Robin Vicars: Yeah, you're pretty much a douche.
Lucas Beck: You sad strange little man. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get your own shining moment in this book to do something awesome (that does not involve getting killed/dying).
Arthur: Yes, I know your torn up, but could you put some effort into screwing over Adam, please?
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 6 . 5/17/2009
Hooray, update! But after reading this, I'm not feeling very hooray. Adam really has descended into a sort of grief induced madness.
Argh! And to think he would go into the flames had the Lupine plan been a failure. That sucks some serious crud.
Well, I did quite enjoy reading up on Adam's interesting past with Charlotte. It made sense that at first he wouldn't be completely in love with her, considering his status, but I thought Charlotte was particularly brave for standing up to the great Adam like that.
It was quite unfortunate when the other vamps found out about their relationship though. Couldn't they have had a fair trial? What about the Amendments? And didn't Fen get to at least go before the Lawmen? Totally unfair.
But I can't believe Adam lopped off Alan's head like that! D: Alan didn't do anything, he was just a kid! Man. I like Alan. I don't know if I can support Adam if he's lopping off my favorite ghost characters head like that. XD
Aah, well, hopefully Adam's tortured soul will be freed soon enough. I suppose he has suffered quite enough... Oh! I think I just came upon a revalation about Victor and the reason Adam calls Victor his "son". Cause when he told Charlotte that the child in the painting was the only son she would ever see, he had probably wanted to... yeah, I don't even know what I was getting at anymore. It made sense in my head, though! D:
Excellent chapter, it was amazing. After reading it, I kept thinking of the song by Blink 182 "I Miss You" and how well it suits Adam. The lyrics are all him. XD
P.S: Coven Silak was crazy! That is all.
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 5 . 5/15/2009
Oh, a chapter on Lucas. Very interesting. Really, I can't help but think that what he's doing is similar to what Adam and his cohorts did, only in a more conventional way.
Man, at first when I was reading the part on Robin's bacteria being different, I kept thinking that he was ill or something. Like maybe Stella's death had done something to him internally and Lucas had to find a way to save him.
But then it was just like-no way! I'm totally taking this modified bacteria strain to put into little kids!
That's just crazy. Robin and co. should just wait until the next transformation, not build up an army that way. Jeez. Such a warmonger.
Ah well, good chapter. I'm surprised I don't have more to say. Sorry about that, I must be getting rusty. :P Oh! What really surprises me is Laura's behavior. I guess it's been several weeks, months?, since Arthur was supposedly "kidnapped"-though he sort of was-but I would have thought that she would be all depressed and stuff and just cry a lot. But then again, she still has Arielle(?) and Lucas did mention she was strong, so I guess it's cool.
Okay, now I feel better about this review. :D Nice work. Velvet.
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 4 . 5/12/2009
Okay, Fen just earned a few cool points after being snarky toward Casper, cause I really just hate him. Ugh.
Oh, and Vasili, pfft! Whatever. He thinks he's so cool, being a king or whatever, nah. Nah. I can't believe I actually liked him. Jeez! I wish I had never known about his wimpyness. :P
Well, Fen's plans really suck right now, considering that Arthur isn't going to Purfleet anymore, but maybe if she can warn his family, that would be perfect. However, I have the odd thought that Adam would know if she had them move. I don't know, maybe. Maybe he'd never find them and then everything would work in the end! :D
Hey, whatever happened to Alan? He was a cool vampire. Cooler than Adam and Vasili, combined. XD
And did Fen really escape? Cause no one's with her and how do they know she's not just going to run off into the night? She should. That would bump her up a few cool points in my book... I don't know if that would be good or bad.
But I do know what is creepy: [Happiness boiled inside of me as I imagined Arthur’s face again, blood spattered and his eyes like burnt out holes.] O_o And this makes her happy? :O Fen is screwy in the head, I swear. But it just makes her more lovable. XD Excellent chapter, I think it's nice to get in Fen's head every now and again.
| Dagonmaster chapter 4 . 5/12/2009
Well done chapters. I liked Fen's chapter the most for you really go into depth on how Fen is feeling and how Arthur's mindset has deeply influenced her thinking in some ways.I'm also curious to see more of Erin and how she might fit into all of this.
Overall, this story is shaping up to be really good and a perfect end to your trilogy.
P.S: If your not to busy do you think you can check out one of my stories and give a review? This would be very helpful.
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 3 . 5/10/2009
Well, I think Patchy has some serious bipolar disorder symptoms. I mean, at first, he was being all calm and collected and whatever, and then WHAM! And I'm just like, wtf? Why is he getting so mad? :O
Aah, I can totally understand Arthur's pain, but I think I've gotten over it. XD Like, Risha is dead, that really sucks, and I know now she's gone forever, so I guess I gotta accept it. I suppose the whole point behind Adam's plan was to have Arthur become so distraught or something like that, to the point that his pain would turn to rage.
Well, on with the rest of the chapter. Wtf? Olivia is a ripped monster! O_o
[The tall woman’s arms bulged with muscles that looked strong enough to crush steel] Holy Jesus. And she's got the very light feminine voice? Jeez! It's like those Tiny strong men. I thought she would be really short and petite and I don't... totally caught me off guard.
[“We know better than you think,” Olivia responded.] Oh, do they?
[In fact, a large part of me wanted to just throw it on the ground right here and bury it on the side of the road with the cars rushing by in the background.] This thought kept running through my head for a while as I thought what it must be like to be riding in a car with a corpse right next to you... That body would be out the window in a hot second. XD
[We weren’t supposed to kill you, we were supposed to rescue you from the Alveria vampires and take you to the Motherhouse in San Francisco.] Aah, intrigue! And more cities in Cali-ville. :D
[But it wouldn’t satisfy, I thought as I looked at another car pass us by. Adam wanted me to kill him and that took the victory out of it.] Yeah, I hate it when the bad guys do stuff like that. It makes me so mad. :P Ah, well, that's about it. There was one typo that confused me though:
[black hole that seemed to suck my vision into it and made me question what lay within. Yes, he did say you were his weapon—and] You forgot to put the quotes before "Yes".
Other than that, good work. Despite it being shorter than your other chapters, it was full of emotion and some shocking secrets.
| Velvet chapter 2 . 5/8/2009
Half and halfs? Weird. Erin's pretty cool, though her cultured accent is hard to follow. She sounds like a hippie or something, I don't even know.
Her previous life sounded really suckie. I mean, cool that she's alive now and being a character and all, but man, if I were her mother, and I knew I had just gotten pregnant by a vampire... no way. I don't care if it was my first child ever, there would be no way that thing would be coming into the world alive.
But kudos to Erin's mom for letting Erin live.
Hmm, I can't help but wonder how the whole Russell-Josh-Erin thing is going to play out. Cause I mean, if Russell and Josh are out doing their thing, and Erin just lost all her stuff to a bunch of lycans, what are they going to do when all three meet up again?
Aah, I don't know. I wish those three would educate themselves though. Not all lycans are the same. RIP Risha.
Aha, I'm glad Jacques whatever his name was is dead. I hated him, though I actually did understand some of his french, it was so cool. But he was a real jerk towards Erin, I can't believe she still let him ride with her even then. Though, I suppose he got a taste-or was tasted by-some lycans anyway, so it all works out in the end.
Oh! And since he was talking about the Children of Fedic, I assume that meant Robin and his malicious intents swept through the area and did their handy work. Either it was them, or the Hawthorne pack. I hope it was the Hawthorne pack, I'm starting to miss them. :o Well, great update, I loved it. Hopefully there is more Erin in the future, as she seems like the perfect potential helper for Arthur in his fight for survival.
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 1 . 5/5/2009
Well that sucks for Harry. Oh well, the guy really wasn't all that grateful about his life anyway. However, I was just as terrified as he when those vampires and lycan just went at it, I was scared and excited.
This was a great prologue, I'm surprised I don't have more to say. This strange relationship between lycans and vampires is intriguing though. They wanted to take Gabrielle away, not kill her? Or where they going to kill her regardless?
Plus, this is the Hawthorne territory, so that means that Risha's pack should be nearby. Squee! I want to know what happened to them when she died... I can't help but wonder how much leader deaths a pack can suffer before they just can't take it anymore.
Ah, well, I loved it that you finally posted this story! :D I was waiting for it, seriously. Yayz! I'm so excited! Great work!
| Dagonmaster chapter 1 . 5/4/2009
I have one word to say to your prologue, excellent. Very well paced and very well written. I could literally envision the entire scene flawlessly. Anyway, its a good start for the final book. Can't wait to see Arthur.