|Reviews for Sunrise|
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 75 . 6/19/2011
Oh well, I didn't have my hopes up too high, but it was great to see Mike's character again, even if it was just a projection of Arthur's mind.
Yikes! The pain that Arthur has yet to experience does not look like fun. I'm a little concerned though: How is Arthur going to protect them when it comes to that point? I mean, sure he can go however he please, not needing to look over his shoulder for a straggler, but how would Arielle survive? She's not like a wolf pup, she can't live comfortably if she's constantly being dragged off at the slightest noise.
I don't know how Arthur's going to do it. Maybe he could leave his family with his small band of "followers". They'd probably protect his family. Maybe. :\ I don't see the lycans being very in favor of taking them in, especially if Arthur asks.
Augh! Well, at least Arthur can rest a little easy knowing that Noah's out of commission. Not sure where Pyre ran off to, but alone, I don't think she stands much of a threat either. Unless she has those whips on her, but I mean, she can't fight all the lycans at once.
Hopefully his plan works out. And woe! Mike is still a hallucination, but I wonder if Arthur can call on him whenever he's in a tight jam, sorta like, send him as a scouter, lol.
A few things I noticed:
["I was a pretty girl-crazy; I know it pissed you off."] An "a" in there that should not be.
[room besides yourself. "Remember those] Misplaced quotation mark.
[!" the scream that spiraled out of my mouth] I guess some text is missing here, o.O Not sure.
Overall, a very interesting chapter. I enjoyed it.
| Hector chapter 75 . 6/17/2011
I suspected he was just a hallucination. But i do kinda think he was a kind of angel you know? I hope Risha comes back too! Oh you might want to check your punctuation a quotation marks. Some of them were off
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 74 . 6/15/2011
What? What is this madness? At the same time that I am beyond ecstatic, I am also skeptical. Is this another illusion? Has Arthur really gone insane? Can Risha come back, pls? XD
You really do slay me with these chapters, by the way. Haha, at least they're never boring, so it's all good.
Arthur's homecoming was pretty lame. So where *are* his parents? o: Isn't his dad still with the lycans? :\ I kind of hate Roland. He's an interesting sort of evil, the type that you'd love to see their plans go through only to have them squashed at the last second so no real damage is done.
A few mistakes I noticed:
[Arielle's things still in the house,] "were"
[the little hats and to fit on her head] I actually have no idea what you really meant to put here. Was it "meant" or "that"?
[and know that i had wrought that myself.] And this last one.
[Though Boniface Court was a small neighborhood, with perhaps only sixty houses, and yet for some reason] Oh, I just noticed this. Remove the "though" at the beginning, because "though" and "yet" are pretty much the same word/have the same meaning.
Ha! Perhaps Fen should have bandaged up his knees. That wound in his side is mighty serious. I wouldn't want that thing opening and bleeding all over the place.
Hmm, what was up with Roland's weird eye changing ability? o: The brief scuffle they had was really interesting. And Roland's powers are... very different. I wonder how long it took him to develop them. If only Arthur had time to train his own power. He'd be unstoppable. :D
And so now that we've figured out what the baby block incident was, which I must say, Arthur really was a murderer in the making, the next burning question is: if Laura was an azka all this time, and knew it (did she know it?), why didn't she tell anyone? How could she have avoided it? Arugh! So confusing and mind boggling!
[No…I'm going to plunge you into insanity instead.] Yeah, when Roland said that, I was like, "No! Not the Other! Anyone but him! D:"
And wow. I can not believe it was Roland who killed Kat's children! Though, after figuring out his true personality, I can't say it's so surprising anymore.
[If she wanted to, she could crush our minds into oblivion with a single thought, and then bring them back as though nothing had happened.] This line sent shivers down my back. Ooh, it was so good. I bet I know who it is this time, for sure. I think. XD I'd like to see him try it though. She'd probably kill him if she even sensed his presence.
...Wait a minute. If I think it's who I think he's thinking about, there is no way. Vampires are immune to azka abilities! The fool!
And yeah. I hope Mike, if it is Mike, my mind is still completely blown!, I hope he helps Arthur out. Just like good old times. ;_;
It was an excellent read.
| Allocard chapter 74 . 6/14/2011
M-Mike? Alive? While i do want that to be true (since his point of view was my favorite) i think its got to be a twin or clone or someone who just looks like him. Im betting on a hallucination. That Rolland guy seems like a pushover though, i definately think Other Arthur could have crushed his mind like it was nothing. Great Update, i hope you update soon
| Allocard chapter 73 . 6/13/2011
Another great update! The suspense is seriously killing me
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 73 . 6/12/2011
I don't think that was the smartest choice Arthur could have made. XD Something tells me someone other than his parents is going to waiting for him.
This was a great chapter. There were a few mistakes:
[if I had merely listened to the voice in my head, the car would still have been shaky under my control, because would have been doing this for the first time.] Missing an "I", I think.
That's the only one I can remember, though. xD Oh well. They weren't too detracting, just made me wonder what exactly was trying to be said.
I'm starting to get really curious about this baby-block incident now. Heh, I've been trying to figure out what it might be through the terms used, but I don't think it has anything to do with blocking babies in, lol.
[Just accelerate and keep going;] Heck yeah, you gotta pile drive those things! Better to send them flying over the top of your car and damage the car a little, then swerve into a ditch and kill yourself.
However, I don't suspect Arthur will be winning any brownie points now that he broke Calvin's legs. And it really isn't going to be good now that the lycans know he's in Purfleet. If I were him, I'd just stay out of the forests.
Oh! Another thing that makes me curious: how did Arthur's mom manage to not go crazy with her azka abilities? o: I hope, if Arthur does find his family, that he confronts her on the issue. I don't know what she'd be able to do, but it be awesome if she was an azka. Maybe she could help him or something.
As always, a very exciting read. I can't wait for the next chapter!
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 72 . 6/10/2011
I like the idea of a battle between azkas!
I don't know how I feel about Arthur getting serious about murdering Adam. There's no way he can win, he's a human. Of course, with all the things he's involved in, perhaps it'll all converge on one spot and help him in the end.
Hmm, I wonder what a battle between Level Two and a monster like Helena would be like? o: Both powerful creatures with incredible strength... I'd pay to see it. XD
Urgh, why does Juliet always have to come up? Why does *Mike* always have to come up? Juliet was great for the plot cause she was some needed opposition, but she was also kind of annoying. But Mike... sigh.
Hopefully things go a bit more smoothly from here. Though, knowing this story, that's probably too much to hope for. XD Well, whatever happens, I'm ready for it.
| Allocard chapter 1 . 6/6/2011
No lie, but i think this fic is 1000 times better than Twilight. You should really bring this to a publisher
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 71 . 6/4/2011
Haha, when all that blood started coming out of Arthur, I thought Fen was drinking his blood. I was so confused and horrified for a while; I kept re-reading to know why such a thing would happen. XD
Aah, Max, Raza... I don't remember Brand all that well. Unless he was the lycan that was part of that pack living in the forest or whatever. Hmm.
Poor Fen. I wonder if she'll be able to live with herself after all this. I can't imagine her going back to Vasili... I dunno. And that is strange that she can't see the orange eye. Was she blinded by love, or what?
I'm starting to really understand the Other now. He's basically thoughtless insanity and sadism given a voice and a face. Or, something like that. xD Regardless, he's quite a nuisance. But, I hope the Other takes over at the one crucial moment and kills Adam and then... yeah, I don't know. Maybe some miraculous thing will happen and everything will go back to normal, yay! XD
Oh dear. Arthur really is going to have to save the world, huh? I hope he's up for it. :P
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 70 . 6/4/2011
Aah! Sorry I didn't see this sooner. I've been out of the house a lot lately. :P
Anyway, you're right. I don't think anyone is sane in this story. XD If they're not insane with grief, they're crazy for power. And if it's not that, then they're just crazy. Oh, well, Ernst is still pretty good. Of course, he's gonna go mad trying to gain approval or whatever it is he wants nowadays. Gah!
Ooh, and I remember Jack now! :D His betrayal was so unfortunate. I really did like Jack, he was such a nice guy when he wasn't being crazy. Now that I think about it, I bet Casper and he would get along just great. Both of them are quite sadistic and evil. xD
On the Victor/Helena convo: I really do hope Adam kills her. *prays for it to happen* She's so crazy, I just can't take it. Why? Why do these things have to happen? How are half of these monsters going to be disposed of? Like, where do you put them?
Agh. Too much to think about. I just wish Arthur would get some medical attention. Oh! And what about that time limit Adam set for him, concerning the slaughtering and the world coming to an end and all that? Was that three weeks or something? Sigh. Nothing is going right anymore.
At least one familiar face is back in the picture. Hopefully Fen can help out... maybe she'll help, I really don't know. *headdesk* XD
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 69 . 5/29/2011
Two mistakes that I'd just like to point out right away:
[Gabrielle howled in pain Holly screamed for her mother in my head.] "and Holly screamed"?
[Although he couldn't see well enough for details, he could see that] There was a change in person here.
Other than that, uhm... yeah, what is going on here? XD
Oh my goodness. I just can't take it anymore. It's all driving me crazy. T_T Everyone's got a secret agenda, nothing is right. The world is going to collapse. I can see it happening right now. The world is going to implode from the evil.
I don't think anyone in this story is doing anything for the greater good. And I rather like it, but who am I supposed to root for? D:
Good thing you reminded me about the Lupines, I had nearly forgotten about those guys! Ah, yes, their nasty, gray, hairless bodies and slathering saliva and all their mutant glory. Ah, yes. XD
You know, I'm not sure who is actually worse right now: the vampires for thinking of breeding an army, or the lycans for actually doing it... I just can't really see anyone winning at this point, I really can't. All I see is a war going on forever and ever, or everyone dieing due to Adam's madness.
I'm leaning toward humanity prevailing, but... those chances are looking mighty slim.
At least Arthur finally got free of Holly's body. And despite what happened to Kat's children, I don't feel sorry for her. She's a monster. If an azka did kill them, (I put my money on Roland, but he's a recent player, isn't he? So, I really don't know. What about Wendell? Didn't he work for the vamps?) that doesn't mean she should have gone insane and been so cold-hearted toward her own niece. Don't people who lose kids want to be nice to every child they meet? Aoeahgoiehgorah!
Why couldn't Gabrielle take over as Alpha? At least she's on the path to good relations with the vampires.
Ah, Helena. Helena, Helena. Everyone was after a slice of eternity and now we see what happens when you take a bite. You become a hideous monster that eats people. Good job, Helena. I hope Adam ki-Oh, wait. She can't die. Gah! Can't she just be encased in a concrete block and thrown into a volcano or something?
Cannibals are counterproductive to human survival. I would know these things.
I almost thought I wouldn't see the end of this chapter, but it was so engaging, I was sad to see the bottom of the page so soon, haha! Good work on that. Another fantastic chapter. ;)
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 68 . 5/25/2011
Aww, no Arthur in this chapter. Oh well, it was still entertaining.
Aah, I remember Casper. The sadistic, creepy one. I really hated him, and I still do. I think at one point Fen was going to kill him? Or was it Risha? I don't remember. Someone wanted him to die but it didn't happen, woe!
And hooray, I was right. Two Rolands, lol. Ernst's mix-up was adorable. XD He really doesn't get enough credit, and he's a really interesting character. I like him. Too bad he totally fell into Casper's trap.
Now the war is going to end with all the lycans dead. T_T Hopefully not, but I mean, the vamps have a whole system of sophistication built up and the lycans have what? Scattered factions that live in the woods like animals. XD At least they have an azka on their side, but the vampires have azka and damphir and augh! Weapons of mass destruction and scientists and money...
Please, Arthur, get home before Ernst gets there, grab your family and run like mad. Go to Europe. Build an underground bunker. Ergh! I hate the vampires so much right now. -_-;;
An overall great chapter. There were a few mistakes, but, I can't be bothered to go through and find them. They didn't take away much from the story.
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 67 . 5/25/2011
Oh my gosh, I'm so glad to see an update for this story again! Haha! After a week or two of it not being updated, I thought you had just fallen off the face of the Earth or something.
I'll admit, though, a lot of things have gone hazy in the past... however long it's been. But the names of everyone are starting to bring back memories.
One thing, are there two Rolands in this story? I'll probably have to look at previous reviews, but I think there was that lycan hunter named Roland who Fen ran into when she was looking for Arthur. Hmm.
On this chapter, really sucked for Dr. Reynolds. No one gets a break in this story, huh? xD
I'm glad Roland was there to stop Ernst from being stupid. I am also curious as Roland on how the relationship between Ernst and Anita worked out. Lots of scented candles? XD
Haha, some things about the story, however, are not coming back. I vaguely recall Arthur being force feed the lycan bacon, and Fen's hibernation, but not much in between. Like Ernst breaking the whip... :\
Aah, I do remember Arthur and Juliet on the plane going home, though. And Level Two, haha! Can't forget about that one.
Heh, I'm really glad you updated. Being honest, your story is definitely one of the few on FP that I live for. It's really that good, if my opinion counts for much. :)
Hopefully Roland's plan works! But, I've really missed the star of this story, so on to the next chapter. ;)
| Icy Vampire Chick chapter 1 . 5/24/2011
Nice to see you back Beast King! I haven't touched this in a while, so looks like I'll have to reread from the start all over eep. But it's definitely looking as amazing as always. ;)
| Hatti chapter 20 . 2/14/2011
I live in Derbyshire! Sorry I got excited xD I really like this story, especially Arthur's story, ooh, and Jack, he makes me chuckle and Fen. Everyone dies, this is sad but kinda expected I spose from a vamp story... I can't believe you killed Risha off! hehe but then the plot would make little sense... I would give an improvement tip but other than making sure spell check works there isn't really anything to improve next time. Anywho, I'm going to continue reading now :) thankyou for letting me read your work, it's really good!