Reviews for Impressions
simpleplan13 chapter 11 . 5/23/2009
"with night rain inside hr womb"... her

This piece might be my favorite yet. The idea her is just so creative and you explain it so wonderfully and without it sounding explicit (however I might change your rating to T). The only thing is again, I'm not sure what this has to do with that specific year. Still, really awesome piece. I really like the collection and I hope there is more to come!

PS Check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (links in my profile).
simpleplan13 chapter 10 . 5/23/2009
Interesting choice of country. I also like how it's about vampire bats. That was very unique as well.

"like love letter; the hunters draw"... I think it should be "like a love letter" or "like love letters"

"By killing these bats, farm animals/becomes less likely to die to the diseases"... animals become

I didn't like the last stanza. It just sounded awkward and less poetic than the previous parts, which I really liked. I also think the word choices and descriptions in the first two stanzas were a lot better.
simpleplan13 chapter 9 . 5/23/2009
I like this because it's an interesting description of California. Definitely not what people associate with it. Usually it'd be beaches and such. I like how you chose something different.

I'm iffy on the formatting. It just doesn't really seem to fit with the rest of the collection. Also, I don't get why 1940 is particularly associated with oranges. And I would've end it with a period since you ended the first part with one.

Still I like the piece. The word flesh is particularly amazing.
simpleplan13 chapter 8 . 5/23/2009
I like this one as with the rest of the collection. However, I would like to reiterate that i think you should put them in order. Going from Mummy's to Hitler seemed like an odd transition.

I also like the situation with the camera. That was really cute and very relateable even in today's world. Nicely done.
simpleplan13 chapter 7 . 5/23/2009
I really like the descriptions, especially in the second stanza. That description is really specific, which made it quite powerful.

I also like that last line it's really powerful as well.

However, I wish I knew what this had to do with that specific year. You know what I mean? Like I get the mummy references, but what does that have to do with 1915? Wasn't that a lot of Peru?
simpleplan13 chapter 5 . 5/23/2009
I like this piece. I think the way you transitioned from the country to something totally different was well done. I also thought your description of the polar bear was interesting. Definitely nothing I had ever read or heard before. Nice piece.
simpleplan13 chapter 4 . 5/23/2009
This seemed out of place with the collection so far. It isn't about a city/country and it's also one block piece instead of having stanzas. That confused me.

That said, I think this is my favorite piece so far. You take something most people see as disgusting and made it so wonderfully beautiful. I especially like that 'cause I happen to like beetles. Your word choices were also really amazing. Powerful and very fitting. Really awesome job.
simpleplan13 chapter 3 . 5/23/2009
I didn't get the first line. Why is Memphis referenced? What does that have to do with Egypt? Or did I miss it?

I love the word curvaceous. It's just an awesome word and you used it well. The personification in the last stanza was nice as well. I liked this piece, but not as much as the others because I felt the Egypt collection was a tad weak.
simpleplan13 chapter 2 . 5/23/2009
"the world, face"... that seemed odd. I felt like it should be facing or and face. The comma seems odd here.

Also, I felt like this should've come before the last one because it's an earlier date, but that's just me. Another thing, you don't capitalize the first word of the piece, but then you capitalize after the other periods.

I do like the piece though. Your description of the picture it really nice. More straightforward than your usual piece, but really well done.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/23/2009
I like how you ended with that phrase, it was an interesting touch. I also like the piece. The way you describe their actions is odd, but really powerful. Your punctuation and line and stanza breaks seemed odd in certain places, but other than that really great job.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (links in my profile).
Aella88 chapter 7 . 5/14/2009
I think that of the entire set, this one was my favorite. It's so short but it's haunting. The last two lines "no matter how thin the bones, I can still see your face" I can't really explain what makes them stand out to me without rambling. The "eyes to heaven" and "as though in prayer" just bring to mind the ancient cultures that practiced human sacrifice. And how many countless individuals must have died that way but it was for something they revered. And we'll never really know who they were. All we have left are the bones. The rest is lost to the past. But those last two lines just hit me like a memorial or tribute to all of them. "No matter how thin the bones, I can still see your face." Because even though all we may see is a picture of mummified bones, there once was a face there. And even if it wasn't a sacrificial death...the same things apply. Who were they in life?
Ashelin chapter 1 . 5/9/2009
This may be horrible, but love that you forced words out of images. I've always thought that National Geographics were quite amazing when it comes to photography, but you take them to a next level. I'm assuming the last line referred to some text within the article, or perhaps the caption. Or is it a quote? No matter really.

Though I truly enjoyed the part about the brides making love to trees, I believe my favorite was the last two sentences. It grew an image of forced abandonment, of instead of taking up the choice to live without a feminine nature, to instead have strength required thrust upon them. I'm not sure exactly what I'm trying to say, but I have enjoyed what I have read of this collection so far.
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 5/9/2009
I love this. I can see the picture right in this. I really like the imagery in "watched/the walls of their country peel back/from the structure of their supposed lives." That's nice. The last two lines are pretty stunning. Keep writing! :)
Isca chapter 11 . 5/8/2009
I noticed that this collection is rated "K." I might change the rating to at least a K. Ah, Paris, the place where love roams, supposedly. I loved the relationship between light, sex, and love here. The 'street light language' part was particularly vibrant and unique. :)
Isca chapter 10 . 5/8/2009
This is a unique piece. The imagery is very dark and mysterious, quite like bats themselves. Even though the reader understands why these creatures must be killed by the hunters, you still manage to leave the reader feeling sorry for the bats, and wondering whether one life (a bat) is worth less than another (a farm animal). Good. :)
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