Reviews for this could have been about you
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
I have to say this is an interesting idea, getting inspiration from pennames. Though I do wish there was an answer key to finding all the names since you did challenge us to try.

One thing that seemed odd was the comma before and. I just didn't understand why it was there.

I'm intrigued by your misspelling of sinderella. It doesn't seem to be a penname (I checked!). So I'm wondering where that idea came from. However, I'm not really liking it underlined. Just seemed out of place a bit.

I do really like the piece. "Fairytalr faulure" is a great image. And I really love those first two lines, how you describe the clock is really wonderful.

PS dragonflydreamer placed 2nd in the Review Game's Review Marathon (links in my profile) and gave her reviews (this one included) to you.
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 2 . 7/25/2009
Love the enjambment at the end. Gives that powerful one word at a time thing. And of course, fun to pick out the author's names (I recognized lackluster, like a lover and whisper something profound in this one, and I'm sure there are others, too). Keep writing! :)
Lime-Cat chapter 3 . 7/18/2009
I like this poem because it's short, simple and sweet. :)

The only thing I didn't really like were the last two lines because I felt your poem started out very strong but the last two lines weren't as strong as I had hoped. I think taking out the last two lines would leave me with a stronger impression than right now. Are the last two lines in reference to Romeo and Juliet?

-Lime
Lime-Cat chapter 2 . 7/18/2009
I like this poem because I found the ending to be a bit bittersweet and sad. It contrasts the beginning quite well and the aesthetic look of the ending works very well.

"your name will/ fall off my lips in a breath that could/ only be heard through the murmuring/ of october's lies and acid rainbows"

I particularly liked this part because it sounds really beautiful and heartwarming. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Haha. I also like how you incorporated october lies's penname in here - very clever. ;)

-Lime
Lime-Cat chapter 1 . 7/18/2009
I like the references you used in this poem because I find it quite clever. Haha. I also like the subtle hints to the elements of the Cinderella fairytale such as the "clockwork", "old grandfather" "slippers". The part I liked the most has to be the last part where you mention "sinderella" losing her dignity, thus becoming a fairytale failure - it made me laugh a little. But I also have to pity your version of sinderella just a little bit. This poem was quite enjoyable. Thanks for the read. :)

-Lime

Spreading the review love one review at a time from the Review Marathon - kindly sponsored by the Review Game. (link in profile)
Little girl Big world chapter 24 . 7/17/2009
This is just amazing. I love the opening stanza! The last few lines were so powerful. Amazing job and I love what you did with the placement of these words, nice formatting. You continue to amazing me with your brilliant writing! This whole pen name idea was so creative and I'll continue keeping up with it. It's just a delight to read your work :)
tonight we bloom chapter 5 . 7/16/2009
Not just this chapter, but all of the other ones are just... amazing.
emergency room romantic chapter 23 . 7/14/2009
y.

this collection is absolutely fucking incredible. please don't say that you didn't have to do anything to put this together. every single one of these is indescribably beautifully written, absolutely clever and a joy to read. this is so beautiful, definitely a [fav]. i can't wait to see the next update!

by the way, i truly am sorry that it's taking me so long to respond to your last private message. i promise that i'll get back to you soon.

also, i submitted two pieces of writing and i'm waiting for reviews until i submit more, so i'd really appreciate it if you could read a couple pieces of my poetry and let me know your thoughts!

.incredible. never stop being your amazing self, and never stop writing. you are an incredible writer and a beautiful person, and i love you. i can't wait to get to know you better.

stay strong, stay safe and take care of yourself. i hope you're doing well.



xx alison xx
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 7/7/2009
I feel honored that you have used my penname in this collection

but I don't really want it to be included in it.

Thanks for understanding!
Little girl Big world chapter 23 . 7/7/2009
hey this is me! :D

Thank you so much I'm very flattered to be in this collection of such lovely poetry! I like the second to last and last stanza, it's similar to how I try to live. Thanks again!
wayfaringstrangers chapter 23 . 7/6/2009
Well, at least she's optimistic. There's hope at last.
Little girl Big world chapter 22 . 7/6/2009
Ode to melancholy was awesome! "you're just another weed waiting

until the day that it's your turn to shine." Great lines. I loved the ending. Wonderful as always
kissing walls chapter 22 . 7/5/2009
the beginning part, "sunny side down" was really clever. i love the whole plant metaphor, because usually when plants are compared to a person's past, it's in a positive way, so this is pretty easy on the cliché-ridden eyes.
yesterday's rain chapter 22 . 7/3/2009
Yeah, too lazy to log in.

MY NAME! XD

I love it. I'm still absolutely amazed at the way you're able to twist pennames into such amazing poetry with great imagery.

Keep up the amazing writing. :D
wayfaringstrangers chapter 22 . 7/3/2009
:)

This has to be my favorite so far.
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